Women’s Empowerment

Agatha83 · Mar 10, 2018

Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Agatha,

I don't have a sister or daughter to experience what you had narrated so well in your snippet. We are raising only male child in the United States. I realize that he is watching me everyday how I treat my wife. He knew how I stood up for my wife when she faced MIL problem from my own mother. He had seen me supporting my parents-in-law at the old age and watched me perform all the rites for my father-in-law when he passed away 5 years back as my wife is the only child for my parents-in-law. He is watching me taking very good care of my MIL here in the US for the past 5 years. In order to help my wife and as my MIL likes my cooking, I cook at least 2-3 times a week. I at least cut vegetables and help my wife as much as possible as I work from home. I hope he learns how to treat his wife when he gets married.

Having said all that, a few years back my wife was bent upon making discreet inquiries to find a match for my only son who is finishing his Ph.D. in July 2018. We enrolled with a match-making organization by paying Rs. 100,000 as this famous person told us he personally matches the bride and groom himself. Not only he didn't present a single opportunity but also presented some weird questions to us that stunned us and we are not sure whether they were inquiries from bride's family. Once he told me that I need to deposit $100,000 into a bank account to be used by the bride and the groom until he graduates. We were ready to do that. Then, he said most families prefer your son to move back to India after a few years as the girl's family is well-settled in India. After that, when he started searching for girls in the US, he came up with a question whether your son will settle down independently and whether we would be visiting him often. At this stage, my wife told them that we would consider the money that was given to them as charity and told them we are not interested in discussing anything further with them.

My son himself is planning to move 3,000 miles away from us to work for a national lab. We are financially independent and we are never going to rely upon him to support us in anyway. However, he is very attached to us and hence he might be visiting us every year or have us come to spend time with him and his family.

After going through all that frustration, he gave up and we told him specifically that he would be better off finding his own match irrespective of race, religion, etc. In addition, my son has a clean-shaven head and a beard after spending years with long dreads and the match-making organization said it would be a problem as our son has no hair in the head. I joked with them that he lost his hair due to his deep research in Computational Fluid Dynamics.

My wife and I came to the conclusion that considering the intellectual nature of my son, it would be better for him to find his own match. Even then, we can never be sure whether a marriage would work. Whether it is a boy or girl, nowadays, they are all very independent and only thing we can do is to pray for the well-being of our children.

Viswa
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Dear Viswa,

You seem to be an exceptional husband, father, SIL with all the perfect gentlemanly qualities ingrained in to you strongly. With your deep rooted religious and spiritual interests, I wonder how you fell in to the trap of the so called matchmaker, who was nothing but a money minded broker. Of course all the mothers want to see their sons happily married,but the problem is that with changing times, there is lot of expectation on both sides, some of them most ludicrous and unacceptable.
You have done your duty of educating your son to the highest level, which itself is a great achievement. With his strong roots, I am sure, he will be always attached to you. Let him fly free, soaring to great heights, and some day he is sure to meet his match, with God’s grace. Wishing your son all the best in his future endeavours.

Agatha83

Thyagarajan · Mar 10, 2018

An interesting write up and feedback’s moving one to tears. The post encompassing diverse and universal issues of female from her genesis in foetus stage to her old age is well timed.
2. As I write this, my heart bleeds for the II year B Com girl student who was knifed to death at closer proximity to her college in broad daylight yesterday at k k nagar chennai. One more girl as she spurned a male.
3. An incident in Trichy day before yesterday - Another pillion rider - a pregnant woman -succumbed to the injuries sustained when traffic police man kicked her bike driven by her hubby without wearing safety helmet - as they probably refused to pay the bribe.
4. It is celebration of international women’s Day since March 8th the world over about their proclaimed rights and great fantastic achievements.
5. At the same time it was nice and satisfying to see in today’s paper THE HINDU that published image of three ladies in their pilot-attire and a centre side spread interview with them. Awesome indeed and heartening that they fly and reach global sky.
Thanks to OP & to others who had posted excellent thought provoking including video feedback’s.
Regards.
God Bless Us All Always.

Agatha83 · Mar 10, 2018

Thyagarajan said: ↑

An interesting write up and feedback’s moving one to tears. The post encompassing diverse and universal issues of female from her genesis in foetus stage to her old age is well timed.
2. As I write this, my heart bleeds for the II year B Com girl student who was knifed to death at closer proximity to her college in broad daylight yesterday at k k nagar chennai. One more girl as she spurned a male.
3. An incident in Trichy day before yesterday - Another pillion rider - a pregnant woman -succumbed to the injuries sustained when traffic police man kicked her bike driven by her hubby without wearing safety helmet - as they probably refused to pay the bribe.
4. It is celebration of international women’s Day since March 8th the world over about their proclaimed rights and great fantastic achievements.
5. At the same time it was nice and satisfying to see in today’s paper THE HINDU that published image of three ladies in their pilot-attire and a centre side spread interview with them. Awesome indeed and heartening that they fly and reach global sky.
Thanks to OP & to others who had posted excellent thought provoking including video feedback’s.
Regards.
God Bless Us All Always
Click to expand...

Dear Thyagarajan,

I am moved reading your FB, the compassionate nature with which you view women’s plight at present times. All the years we are celebrating women’s day, but the conditions of women have not improved much. The discrimination between genders still exist and intolerance between the sexes has risen to grave levels.
A no from the GF, a colleague, a wife even for a casual outing, leads to violence involving,murderous attacks, acid throws- violence which ruins the victims life forever.
Thrashing the wife blue and black, just because she objects to his binge drinking, shows the callous nature of a man. Infidelity has been there right from ancient times, but why kill the other person, rather than parting amicably!
There are so many issues in marital relationships which cannot be solved unless there is a change in the mindset of human beings.
Yes, the smiling faces of a few women in their pilots uniform, gives us a ray of hope, that things will definitely turn better for women in the long run.

Agatha83

Thyagarajan · Mar 10, 2018

[ QUOTE="Agatha83, post: 4048018, member: 447301"]Dear Thyagarajan,

I am moved reading your FB, the compassionate nature with which you view women’s plight at present times. All the years we are celebrating women’s day, but the conditions of women have not improved much. The discrimination between genders still exist and intolerance between the sexes has risen to grave levels.
A no from the GF, a colleague, a wife even for a casual outing, leads to violence involving,murderous attacks, acid throws- violence which ruins the victims life forever.
Thrashing the wife blue and black, just because she objects to his binge drinking, shows the callous nature of a man. Infidelity has been there right from ancient times, but why kill the other person, rather than parting amicably!
There are so many issues in marital relationships which cannot be solved unless there is a change in the mindset of human beings.
Yes, the smiling faces of a few women in their pilots uniform, gives us a ray of hope, that things will definitely turn better for women in the long run.

Agatha83[/QUOTE]
Thank you.

Agatha83 · Mar 10, 2018

Thyagarajan said: ↑

[ QUOTE="Agatha83, post: 4048018, member: 447301"]Dear Thyagarajan,

I am moved reading your FB, the compassionate nature with which you view women’s plight at present times. All the years we are celebrating women’s day, but the conditions of women have not improved much. The discrimination between genders still exist and intolerance between the sexes has risen to grave levels.
A no from the GF, a colleague, a wife even for a casual outing, leads to violence involving,murderous attacks, acid throws- violence which ruins the victims life forever.
Thrashing the wife blue and black, just because she objects to his binge drinking, shows the callous nature of a man. Infidelity has been there right from ancient times, but why kill the other person, rather than parting amicably!
There are so many issues in marital relationships which cannot be solved unless there is a change in the mindset of human beings.
Yes, the smiling faces of a few women in their pilots uniform, gives us a ray of hope, that things will definitely turn better for women in the long run.

Agatha83
Click to expand...

Thank you.[/QUOTE]
You have posted the same reply I have given to your FB. Something gone wrong technically from either my side or your side.
Agatha83

Viswamitra · Mar 10, 2018

Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Viswa,

You seem to be an exceptional husband, father, SIL with all the perfect gentlemanly qualities ingrained in to you strongly. With your deep rooted religious and spiritual interests, I wonder how you fell in to the trap of the so called matchmaker, who was nothing but a money minded broker. Of course all the mothers want to see their sons happily married,but the problem is that with changing times, there is lot of expectation on both sides, some of them most ludicrous and unacceptable.
You have done your duty of educating your son to the highest level, which itself is a great achievement. With his strong roots, I am sure, he will be always attached to you. Let him fly free, soaring to great heights, and some day he is sure to meet his match, with God’s grace. Wishing your son all the best in his future endeavours.

Agatha83
Click to expand...

Dear Agatha,

Thank you for your kind words and your blessings to my son. I tried explaining the trap that matchmaker was trying but my wife insisted that we should try it in the best interest of our only child. I assumed it as cost of learning how those matchmakers work. I even told the matchmaker that we will bear the cost of the wedding equally with the bride's family. My wife has so many jewelries already bought exclusively for the daughter-in-law lying in the locker unused for 5 years. Hopefully with the grace of the Lord and the blessings of elders like you, he would find the right match and both him and his would be wife will have a happy married life. As we don't have any daughters, my son knows how much my wife and I would love whoever marries him. We will do anything to make both of them happy.

Viswa

Agatha83 · Mar 11, 2018

Dear Viswa,

Trust me, marriages are made in heaven, so leave things at God’s mercy and I am sure, you both would get the best DIL. Most of us keep our jewellery in bank lockers, hardly finding an occasion to wear them, fearing chain snatching incidents. When you get a DIL with character as pure as 24 carat gold, I think all the glitter of real Gold pales to nothing! Wishing you all the best!

Agatha83

iyerviji · Mar 11, 2018

He has quoted your post and said thank you

Agatha83 said: ↑

Thank you.
Click to expand...

You have posted the same reply I have given to your FB. Something gone wrong technically from either my side or your side.
Agatha83[/QUOTE]