woman is the enemy of another woman

CJ becoming a daughter to someone other than parents is a privilege that has to be earned.

 

Wonder where that came from....thats an up-surd generalization...
I have worked at more companies than I care to remember ..but what I do remember is the fantastic camaraderie shared by the women,
We continue to be friends long after we all stopped being colleagues.
BTW office politics are not gender specific...look around...men can be just as evil in those respects.

 

I respectfully disagree. I do consider it a privilege to be someone's daughter....but if it has to be 'earned' in any way, I am better off without it.

 

SSC & JAG

I understand there are inlaws who treat DILs as daughters....now in your case you said you both married into a family where they have only sons. I have seen families of both kinds....I know we cant say entire inlaws clan is bad....nope..I wont say that,..

I am talking over all.....where familis have daughters...and sons....and when the DIL steps in....mostly its easy to say DIL is like our daughter...but at the same time easy to compare their own daughters to the DIL....(comparison always kicks in at the one point or the other)...jmo....(again there are exceptions..I dont deny that)

 

what is an exception and what is a rule depends on the sample set u are looking at.
At IL yes I and SSC might be exceptions.
I have enough cousins who have gotten married into families with both boys and girls ...and continue to have great relationships with their PILs. Yes there are some cases where things have gone bad but the DIL was as much to blame as the MIL.
No one was the angel while the other was the evil incarnate.

SV..every MIL is someones mother. So by ur hypothesis if MOST PIL are terrible to their DIL
are we then ready to say MOST mothers (including ours) are terrible PIL and have double standards?
one for us and one for our SIL(brothers wife)
The math has to add up somewhere right?

 

Sri, I agree with you that there are both sides to the coin. It's just that I wonder why a bride has to be considered as a "daughter" to be given the love, affection, and friendship she needs when she steps into a new family? Why can't DILs simply be DILs and MILs can be MILs...and still have a good relationship? It's not necessary for them to be all lovey-dovey as a mom and daughter in order to enjoy a good rapport. They say in tamil "vacha kudumi...saracha mottai" (sorry, it cracks me up to translate that!)...i feel it is the same way in the case of MIL/DIL relationships..!

 

SV,
nope I'm not married, I only said, I have seen it in my own family and friends circle. Anyways, never mind!

And yes, for the other side, where DIL being treated like daughter when they also have daughter has happened. My own mom was an example of that. My granny (dad's mom), loved my mom to bits, and frankly speaking even favored her ahead of her own daughter - just for the kind of care and affection my mom had for my granny, and nothing else.

 

Then its a choice made . Cant really blame someone right?
If I cannot truly be someones child then how can I hope some one to treat me as their daughter?

 

Because like any other relationship it needs a lot of work. IT wont just miraculously happen.

 

CJ,
Whatever floats your boat! If a MIL-DIL can be friends, catch up once a week, and share a good rapport, then thats good. Infact my to-be MIL and me share a good relationship, catch up now and then, have long conversations, she is highly educated and passes on words of wisdom, and keeps the conversation ball rolling, and more often than not, both of us end up laughing a lot and having a good time, whenever we talk.

So I do not have to be her daughter to be loved the same way. But I do have to go an extra-mile (which I may do after marriage), to give her the love and affection for her to love me like a daughter! And if she does, I would consider myself extremely lucky!