Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Sweety82, Aug 16, 2017.
She has gone mad! Yes! At the same time she is timid! There the problem exists.
yeah, these happened with me as well...
once we went to our mom's childhood friend's place after she invited us ...we reached around 11 am in the morning.she offered coffee around 12pm and kept on talking till 2pm.. obviously we were hungry and embarrassed too ..because we even took our grandparents too since they also know her since long...neighbors infact for a very long ago..but there were no signs of food...then my mom made a quick decision and went talking to her kitchen and asked her about lunch preparations she fumbled..saying she would plan and cook something...my mom politely refused and said she would have outside lunch and asked her for some good restaurants near home.. and that was it..she was not even invited for my marriage and never did we go to her home again..ok if its not for a friend whom we take for granted because we have an edge ..but she must have respected the elders atleast..(she herself invited them personally over the phone the before day)
one recent thing which i faced was.. one of my friend(who was a colleague of mine once) invited me to her place to stay over since i have some issues staying outside(hostels etc) due to financial constraints...but she treated me so bad that i felt i was so useless and good for nothing..she asked me to change my soap because it was fragrant, kept food on the floor,cooked for herself alone and never talk while cooking.. and i was not allowed to touch things.. very bad treatment , i walked out.. still feeling bad.. and learnt a lesson that such people do exsist.
Wow.. that's so mean. We have friends who drives 5-6 hours to our home. We ensure they stay overnight n host them. I can't imagine driving for so long to someone's home and not offered anything. I will be so angry n hungry.
If it's a very close friend, I will state am hungry, ask for some snacks and offer to cook along with her or order.
If it's a good friend but not very close, I will ask for water n hope they get the sign. If not, I will put the blame on my child and will ask 'what food is special around their area' and will place an order n will pay for it too.
If it's just acquaintance, I will excuse myself, go out to a close by food place, stuff myself, then come back or jus run.
Next time, I will ensure we eat n go or carry snacks if it's jus for lil time.
Bad hosts can be good friends. I personally do have friends like that. I love them as friends but would never enjoy going to their home, so we either carry food, pre-order n go Dutch, meet out or will call over to our home. N they love coming to our home, because we host them so well. But can't expect it back from people like that. Some simply doesn't know how to host or choose not to.
So I feel it's good to have no or low expectations but just have a good time when you getogether.
In ur second case, why should she ever call you then? She will just boast that she is helping you but inside she treats you bad. Similar experience I had when I was doing my masters in Maryland. I couldn't get an apartment immediately so I was looking to stay somewhere. Our neighbourhood friend insisted me to stay there till I get one. I was very hesitant but they compelled. So accepted. After coming to their home the person told me that I have to help his wife in cooking and other work since she is pregnant(not a problem. Valid reason.I usually help others in whatever be the reason). I just stayed there hardly for a week. After I get up, I go out to have coffee and croissant. Because I was not offered anything properly. And they pack up their snacks in a box and keep it in closed closet. And they eat after I leave(I found this one day, I don't even need this....god). After two days of stay that person was pestering me to get an apartment fast(I was doing that already). He keep on asking me whether I got it or not. After a week, I finally got an apartment and I felt relieved. The treatment was very worse. And after moving there, I wanted my parents to come and stay in my apartment. So while I was informing him(courtesy) he told he will bring his car to pick up my parents. I said no. He got agitated and said, "don't I have a right to help my sister(me)?". He got angry. So no option I said OK. After going to airport, we were waiting and it took sometime for them to come out" he started shouting. "I have to go home. Why they are late? (It was not their mistake. They had to complete all process and come out". My god. I did not ask him for help. He forced me to say yes. After that he was shouting in the airport. I just strongly told him to leave. He left actually. I picked up a taxi and me and my parents came home. I can't forget this incident. It was very unpleasant.
Yes @Sweety82 indeed i missed to quote a few incidents that happened with her recently that you wrote in your case..similar ones were she infact invited me to help her in cooking and keep her company just like a maid. nothing more.. she would wake up at around 9 am(because her office is at 11.30am) and after freshening up she will make her own breakfast.. without even asking me anything.. and i have to wait till she gets up and opens the door to go out and eat something. i felt so bad..i cant explain..and the thing is i felt as if i was in some kind of jail because i would not have access to the door to go out and when i asked her if i could go before she wakes up for breakfast she bluntly said no.
she would even not bother to ask me what i had.. and she will by the time prepare lunch for her.. and its obvious that it will take time for me since i go out to eat breakfast.. so i will be looked upon as someone who broke her word of helping her with the cooking, so she with a serious face cooks for her packs and leaves...
and she kept pestering me to fetch a hostel as soon as possible in a day.. knowing my financial things.. i was searching like a mad person on the streets..with less money and much hope to find accommodation. finally when i had enough..when my money was getting over(due to travelling, food etc) i thought this was enough and left for the next train.
i am still recovering from that worst experience.,i dint even deserve one...and i seriously hope she gets her lesson soon...
more to this..she even advised me as i was leaving shortly that i need to see a therapist it seems because i am too timid to face situations.. (the reality only i know) ...so a great lesson learnt in a harsh way..
Very true...Sometimes we can't understand people from outside. It is our responsibility to keep up our respect . The people that we are discussing above are rare cases. Because usually it won't happen and friends serve atleast some refreshments for guests.
Nut cases....getting stuck with these people is equivalent to staying in tihar jail..
Atleast In Tihal jail, food will be served on time
OMG! Ha ha ha..that's true. I like ur comment.