why these husbands are so insensitive and mean

ASG with all due respect, I would like to say that culture in India homes is much different v/s US homes. I am not trying to say what you are saying is not right but culture plays imp roles.

Also I guess some of us are just focusing on one aspect OP has written, kids were damanging computer etc(OP has not even said that, she says they were touching PC).. That is just tip of iceberg. She has said about body language, basic etiquette that hurts. Now we may not know the entire history behind OP's family as to why her husband dislikes her sister if at all there are past reasons. But one cannot be rude and bad with kids, because they are not political or manipulative like adults, they need love and affection.

Lets assume kids were creating issues and were unruly, would that mean a person can tell them anything, yell at them, hurt their feelings and see them crying and leaving. I dont think so that is right.

 

Ok, well this took place in an INDIAN home, and the INDIAN husband didn't like it! Are you trying to say it's a norm to have kids running wild when visiting a relative's house in India? The last time I visited India, there was a small family gathering with some young children in attendance... they were all well behaved! So not sure how your comment about "Indian homes being different" makes sense. Maybe you could explain it better to me.

You're right, people should stay patient with children. But what was the MOTHER of these children doing all this time? Or why couldn't the OP step in and cool things down before it all got out of hand? I don't understand why the kids were allowed to annoy the OP's husband to a point where he lost his cool! Really, I HATE when parents don't supervise their children... especially when those children are causing a headache to others around them.

I agree that kids need love and affection, but they also need to be taught right from wrong, and respect for others people property, and how to behave when visiting another person's house.

Maybe the OP can enlighten us whether the kids were the main problem, or whether there has been prior issues between her sister and husband.

 

I have the same question. The mom of these children should be responsible - she should be the one trying to do her best to keep the children from running amok in the house they are visiting.

From what is written in the OP, I dont think the mom took such responsibility. You cannot expect the people to be not annoyed, if the kids are running amok and no one is stepping in. That's a basic thing that the parents need to keep an eye on their kids when they are visiting.

 

Sure, also not to forget that not all are reasonable in this world and people are arrogant, rude and insensitive. I hope and wish that is not the case with OP's husband.

 

Sir, Sir, I guess we are going in all directions. Let us wait for OP to tell if her husband by nature is insensitive , rude towards her too. Who does not care for her feelings as well. That will answer the questions..

Nothing justifies being rude and arrongant towards kids.

 

I challenge you to go on a long flight with a screaming baby. :rotfl

 

ASG, I have seen life. I have seen all days and I know what I am talking. One can get mad and one can get insane with kid but one cannot draw a parrallel like this . One sees overall picture how one behaves with kid. there are mothers/fathers who scream, hit the kids, but next moment they are hugging them and kissing them...

What OP has described is not the flight experience... There is something more, one has to read inbetween lines, she has said he knows she gets normal so he does not bother to ask her why she is sad... that speaks a lot if one has experienced that...People or spouse who are forgiving are taken for granted...for ever....by some..

 

Let me share one experience with you, flight related.. I was going to India some years ago and this flight was via Frankfurt to India(Lufthansa). The flight departed from US and landed to Frankfurt timely. The next flight from Frankurt to India was the problem. There was a young lady may be around 27 years aged. She had two young kids and she was by herself. Both kids were young enough that they cannot be managed alone at least that is how I see.

The flight from Frankurt started normally, but people were already tired reaching to Frankfurt and then waiting there for few hours and again hopping to flight to India. The flight boarded people and it went on run way and stood there without food and water for 4 hours.

All the passengers were tired waiting on runway for 4 hours as they were not allowed to even get up, without flight taking off. The crew were not offering any food, water(it was reserved for journey), or any word as to whether the flight is cancelled or going. The lady was calm all throughout the kids screaming and not able to sit in one place for a long time . I saw that lady never showed any sign of anger or frustration towards kids, always picking one and holding other while waiting. Never I saw a small irritation on her face.

That experience made me think the power people can have if they have patience. Any one in that situation would have at least once or twice frowned or shown some irritation towards the kids who were crying all the time.. Lastly the passengers were boarded to another flight to India, but there I saw lady with two young kids who travelled 15-18 hours already to Frankfurt with no food and water offered for 4 hours at Frankfurt, but still no sign of irritation. I till today say hats off to that lady. The kids are really lucky to have her as mother..

The idea to share this may not be relevant to this thread but yes there are people who in flight and also in not so normal situation show patience, and love to kids. How many can do that , we dont know But there are people who can loose patience at slighest of provocation v.s people who would not in difficult situations too..

 

Some people are less tolerant towards other's children. He may behave the same way with all the other children not only your sister's.

I feel it is the responsibility of adults to make sure nothing valuable is within reach of the small children if they value it so much.

Children are not adults and I don't expect them not to get into mischief even at close relative's place. I would like my nieces and nephews to have a great time when they visit my home instead of worrying and frightened about angry Uncle and Aunty.

Tell your husband that you did not appreciate the behaviour of him towards your sisters children, Ask him to think how he would feel if your daughter was at recieving end of such behaviour.

 

Correct, which is why the adult (in this case the mom of the kids) needs to be the person responsible to ensure they are reasonably monitored. The responsibility is on the parent(s).