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Why NRI bridegrooms are not so hot?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Malini Iyer, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. Malini Iyer

    Malini Iyer Senior IL'ite

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    There was a time when NRI bride grooms were as hot as Gulab Jamuns! No, I am not trying to be sarcastic. It is true. Most middle class houses with daughters ready to walk down the aisle (or take the ‘saat pheras’) aspired to find a Non Resident Indian as a bridegroom. The reason was simple. Settled overseas meant that you were intelligent, hard working and earning a lot more than your Indian counterparts. An Indian settled abroad usually meant a doctor or an engineer or a financial wizard. NRI bridegrooms also translated into the epitome of material comforts and every mother worth her salt was on the lookout for a green card holder to hitch her daughter to and stay peacefully for the rest of their lives.

    There were many hidden reasons for wanting an NRI bridegroom as well. It meant that most likely you stayed away from your parents and immediate family and thus your daughter would be spared living with a joint family with in-laws. She would also be spared the social rigmarole of an extended family and would be free to do as she like. Married to an NRI meant a better lifestyle and the freedom to wear what you want and come and visit the family amongst a flurry of activity every two years. These were the dreams that every mother had for her daughter a couple of decades ago.

    In came the IT generation and shook the entire foundation of this thought process. Suddenly any person who could write six lines of code without any error was being offered an H1B visa (I am talking about six to eight years ago, when quota limitations of the H1B visa were not really a common thing). Young geeks were jumping the domestic ship and moving into foreign countries at the drop of a hat. The prosperity levels achieved were somewhat questionable but they were quick to cash on to the goodwill created by generations of NRI bridegrooms when they went looking for a bride. Marriages began to take place and off went the new brides to a new land to see a new life.

    The downturn of the IT industry brought out more cracks in these hasty marriages. Insecurity of jobs and poor treatment by Western employers and Indian body shoppers shattered the NRI dream into bits and slowly and steadily a trickle of people began coming back to the country. Furthermore, the gap between Indian and American salaries began to close. Parents began preferring bridegrooms settled in India as it allowed them to see their daughters and meet them at the drop of a hat rather than once every two years. Occasional stories of matrimonial discord and domestic abuse made way to the local grapevine and made parents uncomfortable when meeting a potential NRI bridegroom.

    There are more reasons for the NRI bridegroom no longer being a hot property. One of them is that India is also turning into a hotbed of opportunities. People are doing well here and no longer look at going to America as going to the land of opportunities. Many NRI are returning to set up their house and business in India after a stint abroad. Thus more and more people are choosing to live like a king in their own country rather than a second class citizen in another!

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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2007
    hemchi likes this.
  2. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    I think in general parents want their daughters to be comfortable in happy. They will pick the best of what they get. Since well placed boys in India can provide comfortable lifestyle I think makes geography a little less important.
     
  3. shakambari

    shakambari Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Malini,

    Even today aan NRI -especially US groom is in demand provided he is well settled and free of family encrumbrances.

    It is the lure of dollars and American lifestyle and they are the in the top slot of the groom market in Tamilnadu in spite of the recession.
     
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  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Malini,

    You are a new I Lite, but u write much better than most seasoned bloggers.Your style is crisp and the matter to the point.


    Another reason is, we dont know if the boy has a keep there, becomes difficult to find out, and what he says he oes, we dont know till after marriage.

    Good one.Regards

    kamal
     

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