Why MIl can not be mother

Why does our system does not take girl's parents into the joint family ? Ok, in our system itself..in our joint family, will you accept if your son cooks for her wife daily or helps her in all possible ways. Will you even let your son work? Let the mil be mil. Let the dil be dil. joint family is inversely proportional to privacy. I wonder if a girl expects to live separately with her husband, our socity blames her for breaking the family. Every guy in our society literally segrates a girl from her family in the name of marriage. Why is not blamed for breaking the family. So no joint family. No mil can be a mother to dil. She cannot be a daughter. So dont confuse relations..LIVE AND LET OTHERS LIVE WITHOUT POKING NOSE.. this will make the bonds stronger.

 

A newly wed bride has to understand that it is as difficult for her husband's parents to let go of their child as it is for hers'. Likewise a new mom-in-law should try to make the bride feel comfortable.. We treat guests like God, but a new entrant to the family like.....
Oh!!! Statements like these are making our culture horrible.. If my husbands parenst are feeling insecured that shows their immaturity and stupidity. My mommy and daddy never had any insecured feeling during marriage. They didnt treat my husband as a rival. But the same mom had insecured feeling when my brother got married. When I scolded my mom for that and asked her to treat my sister in law with respect the same way she treats her son in law. They are not in joint family. But my mom tries her best to enjoy outings with my sisterinlaws parents and she lets my brother and sil live happily. So once the son gets married, let him live with his wife, you people first try to patch up with daughter in laws family. Once you do that dil will respect you. And treat the daughter in law with respect (Not only love)..

 

Joint family is like socialism. Individual needs are sacrificed for the family's need.

Not judging joint family/socialism. They don't work for me. They could for someone else.

 

i often feel like mil and dil relationship is more like seniors and juniors ragging in colleges..!because seniors were juniors in 1st place and had to suffer ragging(socalled interaction) and want to give the same treatment to juniors,but eventually there rises cordial relationship as years pass by.ofcourese,there are some seniors who think in a diffrent way..'we dont want our juniors suffer the way we did'..
mil can never become mother..i often tell my mother one may be a very good mother but can never evr be good mother in law..god created them that way

 

i do consider my mil as a mother. Of my spouse's. Not mine. I already have been blessed with one.

 

Neerja you're one of the senior most.. you seemed to have joined in 2007.
Probably you were out of the scene and a bit conservative on a few individual requirements & thought patterns..

You can catch up .. life's all about change.
If you don't like replies in this section.. there are more conservative sections... ppl here are pouncing on each other as they have a lot of pent up energies and trying to bash anyone who has a thought pattern or behaviour similar to key person who has stirred up their emotions or life negatively.

If the members were inacting real life DIL/MIL emotions here... the mods would have stepped in.
Reg Sr. / Jr. ragging...Colleage Seniors don't have their son's produced during the course duration and married off to one of their juniors on whom they're dependent emotionally and physically for old age.