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Why did your Last Friendship End?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vennella, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. Loneranger

    Loneranger New IL'ite

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    I have heard about the forums here from one of my friend. She enjoys reading the posts and articles here.
    I have come here for help.
    I'm in US now for 4 plus years. Husband, Daughter and I live in Apartments. We have a good community here and some of our neighbors are my husband's colleagues and boss.
    When I moved here few years ago, I made friends with the ladies here and was included in their groups like Potlucks\Performing for association programs\Watsapp groups etc. Almost the majority of the ladies here are older than me and we are from diverse cultural backgrounds. I have faced disagreements from the group which I consider healthy. It was nothing harmful at all and was taken positively mostly.
    I mostly maintain a good amount interaction not too less or not too much. After a year in US, I did my masters and started getting swamped with my coursework and family duties. My social presence became less than before but I felt it is unavoidable. I felt some of the ladies started distancing from me saying I'm unavailable and not respecting their messages in watsapp groups. I did make effort to attend gathering whenever possible and contribute. It was also a good outlet for me. But I did get some criticisms which I sometimes asked straightaway and tried to cool things down. i felt it was al good.
    Last year I graduated and was in the job search phase then. I got a full time gig couple of months back and find myself totally lonely now. Not getting called for gatherings hosted by some. some are still friendly and all. but In short, I feel excluded. Messages in the groups ignored. Asking about my progress/work/salary to my husband through their husband. I did ask one person who is next door. She said she is upset with me because I'm not mingling with others. I did find her replies unreasonable and weak.

    Did something like this happen to any of you? How did you tackle?
     
  2. pranavi1987

    pranavi1987 Gold IL'ite

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    I felt like answering this thread after seeing the title. I was proud since child hood because i have very good friends , i have never fallen apart with any one and I am in still touch with my school/college/ office set of groups of friends. But some incidents teaches us lessons, which happened in my life for the first time and this will be last time for sure, because from next time i will be cautious in choosing friends. Well, even in this case , my friend ended our friendship, its not me and i Have tried several times to reconcile.

    To tell the story, i met this family in USA 4 yrs ago, and we became a very good family friends, i have introduced them to one of my old bestie who stays near my home, so we families became close. That particular girl has some psychological issues, this was told to me by her husband only once, that please try to adjust as she has fallen apart with all of her friends and relatives. I understood her situation, that girl seems to look very calm, by seeing her you can sense that she is little different, any how we all families had a good time , helped each other always. She used to share me her problems that she is nice girl, but people around her are troubling like her inlaws families, office people. I used to support her a lot and explain her this is quite common, i gave her lot of moral support.Some times she used to complain about her husband also, then also i used to say these things are pretty normal.

    She looks very innocent and always quotes people around her are cheating because she is very calm and composed. I used to pity her because she looks very kind and even my friend used to pity her. Some where my husband sensed fishy, why is she falling out with every one, he used to say she cant take things in easy manner. I used to say all people are different.


    One day i asked her a question she and her husband answer same time, 2 different answers. I ignored it completely, later she apologized to me and said she lied. I never took it serious, i helped her a lot when ever i went to india, but in their last trip , i asked a very imp help, but she neglected it ans troubled me a lot, but still i ignored her and was normal after they r back.

    She never responds in chats/calls, it was always one way. But as her husband who is good friend of mine already told me that she wont mingle, me and my friend were never tired of maintaining relationship from one side.

    But final nail is once we were in group chat, me my friend and she, as we all are family friends for a while now, we were discussing about a weekend plan very actively, she never responded and she felt we ignored her, in group message we have asked her whats is your opinion? Still she felt we left her out and started avoiding us for a very simple reason. As she never usually responds in group chats always. For us it is normal.

    Later me and my friend made calls to her,invited to dinners, she rejected our calls, we tried tried tried finally she ended our friendship.

    Me and my friend are old buddies , we are asusual good. We are the last ones she ended friend ship with. No one in the office also talks to her, every one boy cotted her. Only friends she has is us and now she is all alone. I feel pity but cant help.

    I got a good lesson, i always had good friends/best friends never had any issue with any one thats why god showed me this.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Be friendly with the ones who are ok with you.There is always be a gap in any relationship.All the other ladies for sure are into lot of politics.Dont worry and all will be well
     
  4. YaminiOm

    YaminiOm Junior IL'ite

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    I feel betrayal. I have a long story to post here about that.
     
  5. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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  6. sundarshan

    sundarshan New IL'ite

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    Me too have come across the same issue regarding friendship.

    Good friends will not tease each other. They support their actions and correct them. Both of them act as guides to each other.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2019
    anika987 likes this.
  7. sundarshan

    sundarshan New IL'ite

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    It is always better to keep friends in our relatives circle so that we attain mutual benefit.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2019
  8. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    I ended the friendship with a negative and clingy woman. She wants to chat and talk all the time and spreads so much negativity about others and expects me to join her
     
    aahuti and anika987 like this.
  9. aahuti

    aahuti Senior IL'ite

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    I helped when my best friend was going though a bad marriage and then divorce.
    I was always emotionally available.
    She would spend many nights at my place.
    One day we had plans when my father fell sick and died.
    She neither turned up nor called.
    I felt like a fool for taking out so much of time for such people.
    Blocked her out of my life a few more like her since then.
     
    Mehana, rachaputi and anika987 like this.
  10. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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