which path should i walk...........

rojarani · Aug 14, 2012

Hello friends,

After a long break, fed up with race in life to overcome....u all inlites gave me strength when i was down...again i want to discss with u all....if u read my b'4 posts u can answer probably....

afterall the dramas....im with my husband 2 kids and an overpossessive mil......
left my husband to her....may be u people r surprised about what im talking about...as mil is too over possessive about my husband...

her point is if she is retired means she cant sit in a corner of house.....so her meaning is...she is head of the family....o.k.(no problem with me)
1.she will take care of the finances
2.she will go with my dh for vegetabales every week ( i cant come ewith 2 year baby i.e. the reason)
3.she will roam all chennai to different banks of her money with my husband(as i cant go with kids that long )
4.she will sit in front beside my husband..(as she bought his son good position)
5. she will serve food all the times(as my dd will not allow him to eat)
6. if courier comes i have to call her as she cant come out of the room( but can roam)
7. she will do pooja (as she doesnt like anyone to enter the room....thats me..)

my life style is: totally house arrest....i lost my hopes to try to make her move from the middle of me and my husband...she cant tolereate anything if i smile with him....as time passed away i lost patience and stopped the cat and mice game...nobody can bet with her......what does she want .....afterall she wanat all her life to spend time with her dear son.....and they got married me for the society and house work sake...i lost glow,happiness, i became just like a patient which i feel a drastic difference when i stand beside my husband. i even feel hesitant...feared anxious...all the time. i feel depressed...as earlier i got lot of chances where my husband supported me a lot for me to overcome my fear...but due to her pressure i was so feared that i totally became introvert.

i came to a point that no one is great than GOD...so i kept all my focus onto GOD..

let i leave my husband...like that....or should i start race again which i cannot win against a wicked dirty woman.

pls help me, i have 2 kids, 1 son and daughter.

i cant resist my mil even for 1 second.

thanks friends.

Anamika99 · Aug 14, 2012

Dear, since your DH supported you before, you shd talk to him nicely. Does he need you,,,does not he see what u r saying? If your DH is on your side, you can fight this fight

Neha2903 · Aug 14, 2012

Take a break and get some peace. Go to your parents place and see if your husband misses you and calls you. When he calls, tell him you are very relaxed and happy there and you can be yourself. Make him understand in loving words about what you are going through.

silvertulip · Aug 14, 2012

Talk to ur DH, tell him you want to spend time with him, go out with him and ur kid. If he has supported u before, then he will know how u feeling these days. Or may be go to ur parent's plc for few days for change of mind.

smritisinha · Aug 14, 2012

What the hell are you doing to yourself??

First things first. Pick yourself up and find yourself. I have read an article somewhere on depression, and you remind me of major symptoms. Please please please get hold of these negative feelings dear. And:
1. Whether you feel like or not, do the things that earlier used to please you. Like reading, walking, listening music, surfing net, whatever. You might not like doing it initially but even then, do just for the sake of it.
2. Call one person daily who you loved and liked the company of, once a day. Call your friends, your parents. Keep in touch with people who matter.
3. Who is the person who used to be closest to you before you married?? Call him / her when you are alone (when the MIL DH duo are shopping) and tell him / her of what has happened. This is very important because you need that to keep in touch with that one person once a week, and he / she is to keep a tab of your mood.
4. Once you have come out of this dejected mood, please start talking to your husband. Share your day with him (surely she does not accompany in your room). Make it a point to talk daily. Slowly, he will start realising that he lost you somewhere and will love to be with you. Start with ten minutes if not more. But do that even if your MIL dislikes. This is necessary.
5. Once you both are back on track, tell him what had happened and that it took you so long to recover. Tell him that you cannot stay with a monster all your life, and he HAS TO choose between you and her. You can take care of his mom from a distance. Buy a place nearby. But now, he has to choose. Whether he wants to love his mom all his life or whether he wants to fulfil the vows he took when he married you. Be strong. Do not let him think that you are weak and will give in to a compromise. Tell him clearly that you dont want to go mad.
6. And understand one thing that fighting for the love and care of your husband is not wrong. Not wrong at all..

I have not read your earlier posts but I have written this from your thread. Please make sure you get back to your normal self as soon as possible.

All the best....