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Where Do We Belong?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by CRASHASH, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. CRASHASH

    CRASHASH Senior IL'ite

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    Wow you put it in just one line, this is what I feel when I lose my sanity. Thanks for the remaining tips, I know I sound like a complaining person but I recently lost sanity and became emotional. Anyway, I will keep your points in mind.
     
  2. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi we don't really belong in IL family. My IL did not make me part of their family, and ask for my opinions until I completely washed my hands of them, and they would ask me for advice/help. The key is stay away from decisions in the family, live your life. If they ask for your opinion give it. If your husband bothers you about it, say you don't want to offend them or overstep your boundaries. Key is you can't let them tell you what to do or control your life. Visit your dad and brother as you wish. If they say something say just like you need SIL opinion on a few matters, they also require my opinion so need to go help them. If you need something let me know. Say it in front of husband. As well, next time there is pooja or renovation a few times ask in front of husband, "mummy ji you working so hard anything I can do" she will say no, or she needs to consult someone and then once DH hears this, talk to him later in private and say, see they don't need my help. Open up the communication between you two.
     
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  3. CRASHASH

    CRASHASH Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for the tips and sharing your views! I think I need a change over in my attitude I will try to work on that.
     
  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    All this is quite common. Many times we suffered due to SIL's wrong decisions which increased our expenses and caused us financial hardships. I feel bad for my DH. I don't care about money anymore but I feel he should get the respect and decision power that he deserves. I love him so much so it hurts to see .

    So I make sure in my little world, my husband gets a lot of importance and decision power. He is very intelligent and I trust him with my life. In our little world, we give importance to each other and we both are happy. That is where we really belong-with our spouse.

    For inlaws, we should do our duty wholeheartedly - but we cant make them to give us/our husband any importance.We have to satisfy our emotional needs from husband, kids and our parents. And never leave your parents- even after marriage - we have rights and duties towards our parents - and if we try to keep the same strong bond with parents we will not be so lonely.

     
  5. CRASHASH

    CRASHASH Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for your valuable input. Looks like all these are way too common...
     
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