Whats Wrong With Me?

@star90
As @citygirl said please be careful when revealing or discussing personal details with strangers. I don't want to scare you but we don't knows who is who so just be cautious. Don't trust anyone just like that.

@Uniqueartist
Please don't mind about my above statement. I was given general info to her.

 

OP, it is natural to feel this way when one deals with a loveless arranged marriage. I am sure you know the difference between men and women. We like happiness of small things. But most men don't understand it and not very good in expressing love. Have you ever conveyed to your dh that you are not happy because of these reasons. If your husband is not able understand it, you have to accept the reality and see what you can do. Request him to do house hold jobs and help you when you need it. You are not his mother or servant. He has to contribute 50 % in all aspects as you are also working. Atleast he has to take care of his own things and help you with kids.

If he is not able to change, you can change the way you handle or respond to the situation. Lower your expectations & take control of your life , accept the situation, and explore what can make you happy. Try to do whatever makes you happy .

I remember going through similar posts in IL forum and here is the link to one of them. I think many women are facing this issue. Hope this one give you some idea on how to handle the situation.

Is arrange marriage loveless?

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with you , @star90. There's probably nothing particularly wrong with your husband. But your relationship to each other seems very lacking, which explains your loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Have you tried to spark your marriage by going on dates or planning activities (vacations) together? It might help to have something in common or even pursue a common activity.

Regardless of what your husband does, try to increase positivity in yourself. Find hobbies and interests and grow yourself. Your positivity will rub off on him.

 

Yes may be but there are many threads who have told openly about their relationship with spouses why not help with your professional knowledge here many could use it too.. since there are many ppl who are just readers and don’t post and going through same issues..

We don’t who who we actually are so..

It’s up to op to decide what to do ..

 

Hi Star90,

I can understand your feelings. Especially when you are in a foreign country with only spouse and no kids. I m assuming you live abroad.
I have seen men like your husband in my family. They don’t talk very much or rather I would say they don’t know what to talk. Only way to increase interaction with your husband will be to share his interests. Initially start with that and slowly introduce him to the things of your interests. From household responsibility view, I think you both should share equally. Even my husband don’t mind me going alone to store at midnight. Sometimes men are just careless. I don’t see it as a big thing. But I won’t let my daughter go alone out in the night.. . Try to make more friends at the work and neighborhood. It will help you to socialize more and be less dependent on husband for emotional support. Cheer up, these are small things in the big life.

 

The unambiguous answer to your million dollar question is, "yes". Go to the different Threads of this married life section. You will find many women have come here seeking advice for the same question which is boggling your mind.

 

You are expecting your DH to do things why not you take the role of planning things and ask your DH to follow your plans, expecting your DH to change will not be a easy task, looks like he is a loner.