What Next??

I am asking this question to myself n number of times but no answer . So have come here to get your valuable suggestion which will be a real great help for me to decide. For past 5 months I am mentally and physically very weak. The only reason is my husband. Dont know what the hell is wrong with him. Sorry for the long post

My husband is 42 years old, we have a 6years difference. have 2 kids (boy and a girl) . Recently he started a habit of chatting with girls (ladies) over whatsapp. I came to know about this 4 months back when I unlocked his mobile and read the message. When I fought about this he says that we talk only in messages but not anything physical. He tells that why do you worry that its only a timepass. I got so furious and blasted him to the care. The messages will be like, calling by pet names , did you have lunch, are you thinking about me, what dress are you wearing blah blah. I got so wild and shouted at him but he was silent . I also called that lady (mother of 2)and shouted who was reciprocating to his messages. She said sorry and confronted that they chatted and they haven't met Then and there she blocked him in whatsapp . The first episode is closed. He says the reason for all this is me, as I dont spend time with, not talking to him, not being nice to him. But this is all false. He has drinking habits so I dont talk to him but when he is fine I talk and be nice with him. What more he needs. Regarding the physical needs, he is the one who is not showing any interest. But I am 100% sure he is not having any EMA other than this chatting. He comes home after office and doesnt go anywhere else, in weekends too.

Now the second episode, he has been chatting with his collegue,for past 3 months, which took another route within some months. That lady is married (second marriage as she has some issues with first marriage and could no bear a child till now) which turned a sympathy to my husband and started chatting that he is there for her not to worry, i love you and so but being a nice lady she called me once and confronted all to me that he has been flirting with her and she has family . I was shocked to the core seeing his messages. He was literally interfering in all her aspects like if she puts some status, he is like why are you wasting time putting status, if she talks to some guy, why are you talking to him. Who is he to control her.
He doesnt ask me if I put a status but rather interested in her. He creates sympathy in front of her , exaggerating as if I am a sadist, not taking care of him, kids and always go to my parents place, not being nice with him. She also revealed to me that he said that I have applied for divorce and divorce papers have come from me for him to sign. Such a cheap drama...
He was sending messages calling her by pet names , and love messages but she did not reciprocate.
She got so wild and the very next day she directly asked him , do you love me ? and he said YES!!
She shouted at him at first and then advised that he has 2 kids blah blah.
One good thing that happened is this lady is very shrude and open type and she confronted me all the things and I am getting the information from her about him, so that it will be useful for me to reveal about him in future. We both daily talk on phone (without husband's knowledge).

Again had a huge fight with husband and again he said sorry and will not repeat again. We will be only friends. But I am not able to accept this. He is being nice to me but still I feel he is acting to pacify me .
In between all this his drinking habit continues. I have told all these things to my mother in law and she also got very angry and shouted at him and to stop all these nonsense. But whats the point . Same happened during the first episode but still he continues for TIME PASS...

I dont know how to end this. Yesterday he started another episode , chatting love messages when boozing.

I cant go and stay with my parents place as I dont want to tell them as my mom is a heart patient, I am afraid of her health. They think I am very happy. I have made up my mind to stay in a PG for some days making a strict point that I will not return home unless he confess his mistakes and promise me that he will not booze anymore and stop all his nonsense.

Is my decision ok????

 

Hi Senorita,

Thanks for the reply. Yes I do have the proof of all these chats and I also showed them to my MIL so that in future there may be chances for them to go against me. But my MIL believes me and support me .

 

Hi Sangeeta,

Thanks for the reply. Yes I have done the same. Didnt go to PG. I thought for a fraction of second , why should I punish myself for his mistake leaving my kids. I will make him to realize his mistake by giving him a silent treatment and I will be happy making a small world around me along with my kid.

 

Hi Greenbay,

Thanks for your reply. I always had a heart-to-heart talk and always been very supportive and caring. But he takes me for granted. I really got pissed of in recent days. He has never been trustworthy. He makes false promises. He always lets me down. He promises that he will not booze, but it continues. I had enough and not in a condition to take anymore that is why i fight now. My kids are taken care by MIL and I am working.

But when he is normal he is completely dedicated to me. I know he completely loves me and shares each and everything that happens . But this two habits of him puts me down