1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

What Could Have Been The Problem?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Oct 28, 2018.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,751
    Likes Received:
    6,613
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    There is this lady in our neighborhood who has a child my kid’s age.She had been mentioning to my neighbors that the child needs someone to play with.

    I thought I was being nice and went to her home and extended my hand in friendship as we both have kids the same age.

    However,I felt only I was trying from my side.I don’t even call much maybe once in two weeks and I invited her to my home and she stayed only for few sometime.

    I let it go and stopped calling and she also never bothered.

    I don’t know what could have been the problem?
     
    Loading...

  2. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    264
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Female
    Was this in India or outside India? Sometimes people like to have limited relationship. Probably it's their nature, so can't help much. I have a neighbor who acts little weird too. I live in US and parents are back in India. But whenever they visit, she talks to them nicely and greets them whenever she meets. But she doesn't talk much with me, just a simple Hi-Hello relationship.
     
    Sunshine04, sindmani and anika987 like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,751
    Likes Received:
    6,613
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    She is in the USA.

    She acts super sweet when I talk to her,I don’t want to come to conclusions but it irritates me as she was the one who wanted her child to have playmates and I thought I was nice to her by being friendly.

    Both the kids are in the same community and are of same age.I don’t know why she even asked for playmate when she is not even interested to make any move from her side.

    I don’t know if she is possessive of her child etc but by the way she praises her child..one will think the kid is a prodigy.
    I don’t know wats going on in her mind but kind of felt offended so wanted to know.

    Thanks for the reply dear
     
    Sunshine04, sindmani and sneha1985 like this.
  4. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    264
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Female
    Not sure if she is from different culture or same culture. If different then I have noticed some people not liking immigrants and keeping limited contact with them. Either ways whatever it maybe, I would say from now on don't try to initiate the talk or invite her. If she comes to you for favor then only help her that too if you feel like doing it. I have met many many similar weird people too here in US, so would suggest to keep limited relationship.
     
    sindmani and anika987 like this.
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,751
    Likes Received:
    6,613
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    She is also Tamil like me.

    I don’t have friends here and I honestly tried to make her a friend with no intentions.I felt hurt when people don’t reciprocate our niceness especially when they are the ones who wanted it.
     
  6. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    182
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you think she just want the kids to play and not develop a relationship with the mom?

    Maybe she doesn’t want you to visit her and she is indirectly telling you by staying for very little time at your place. Some people like to speak over phone but don’t like neighbors to visit them (time limit or privacy issues)
     
    anika987 likes this.
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,751
    Likes Received:
    6,613
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Its ok about not having relationship with the mom.She can also drop off her kid at my place as she lives two houses away.She is absolutely not making a move but is talking about other kids who are very close to her child but those kids won't even go to the same school and live far away..


    I am one of those people who knows my decency and the way she behaved was offending.I really won't even ask for an onion from my next door neighbor and never ask for help or use anyone.

    she particularly mentioned she wanted someone in the same neighborhood who has kids her child's age..Why did she even want that if she is not ready to even make a playdate?
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  8. troubledmom

    troubledmom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    285
    Likes Received:
    354
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Lack of personal equation between you and her.

    How old is your kid?

    If below say age 5 then kids play date is just an excuse. Some moms are looking to make friends or social connections in the other mom. Their personal convenience is more important. If you two hit it off then play date is a no brainer and follows naturally. Also important in the equation is if the 2 women are both working or both non working etc. mismatch won’t work. In this case this one just likes to talk it seems. She didn’t tell you she told your neighbor right? Probably to ‘show’ she is a concerned parent or good parent. Leave it it’s not you it’s her
     
  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,751
    Likes Received:
    6,613
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    thanks dear..

    irritated that will be meeting her for school bus stop...
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,308
    Likes Received:
    22,849
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeh un dino ki baat hai (this happened when) H.D. Deve Gowda was the PM of India. 6:30 am on an early autumn morning, outside Hazrat Nizamuddin railway station in South Delhi. Young working woman in a pink salwar kameez with a georgette dupatta, kolhapuri chappals, well-oiled hair in waist-length braid. Disembarked from train after a comfortable eighteen hour journey in two-tier A/C, started making way to taxi stand. Saw three lines of beggars sitting in an orderly manner on the road. One sitting far away with a bleak expression in his eyes and looking more defeated than the rest, caught her eye, and she made her way to him, while pulling out a two rupee note from her long-straps wala purse.

    As she reached down to place the note in the beggar's aluminum bowl which had only coins, he rudely and loudly shouted at her and moved the bowl away.

    To this day and four PM's later, she still wonders why. Beggars can be choosers?
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2018
    Sinant and jskls like this.

Share This Page