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What a wife should do when husband does not give compliments about looks?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vasavi84, Aug 25, 2011.

  1. vasavi84

    vasavi84 New IL'ite

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    My DH always praises his own sister for her good looks and for being fresh...(Indeed she is really beautifull.She is fair complexion,very very clear skin,shiny silky hairs. Im dusky skin girl with frizzy hair and acne prone skin with long face).He always says that she smells too good. I have never received such compliments from him ...
    is it wrong from my side to have expectation that he should say I look beautifull ? Or should I inform him that I expect his compliments some times...? Or should I silently keep quiet and come to the conclusion that I wont deserve such compliments ? Or should I look out for other sources in order to get compliments? What should I do?Or Should I stop worrying about this and concentrtae on other areas of my life?
    It hurts me always... never any guy has come to me saying that I look beautifull... I dont know what is wrong? The Girl inside me is craving for such things.
    Friends,could you please help me to clear out my confusion?
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2011
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  2. injustice

    injustice Bronze IL'ite

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    hey hi. come on every girl looks beautiful....
    may be your are not observing your beautyness .....
    if you still feel so go to parlour straight your hair.give a diff look for your face.

    take a nice time and tell your hubby that it hurts you ..soemtimes....

    tell in a soft tone voice.
    mine also same problem mine is frizzy hair and bit fair but my sil is damn fair than me..silky hair. and MBA HOLDER

    ALWAYS MUY HUBBY USED TO COMPARE IN STARTING BUT NOT NOW .SOME HOW I AM MAINTINING MY HAIR WEEKLY ONCE WITH STRAIGNER.

    TRY IT
    GOODLUCK. NEVER JUDGE A FACEOF BOOK JUDGE WITH CONTENT OF BOOK LIKE THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART TO CARE YOUYR HUBBY SO TELL YOUR HUBBBY.
     
  3. harinisripada

    harinisripada Gold IL'ite

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    Vasavi,

    Have you ever told your husband that you would like to get compliments !!!

    Anytime I am happy with my DH, I tell him - today you get a bonus, you can give me 2 compliments... and he'll laugh and say twice "you're a good girl" !!! :) And I tell him no tell about my hair, about my smile etc...

    Just be humorous and playful about it when you're relaxed!!!

    Be confident - dress up well!! You'll be more confident if you're groomed well!!!

    Suddenly block his way and say this is a toll gate, you have to pay a compliment then I'll let you go... :)

    Dont compare yourself with others... I have silky straight hair, but in college, I used to really really long for permed hair :)
    Each and every woman is beautiful - whether fair, dark, straight or curly hair - doesnt matter...

    just be well groomed - trim hair, do your eyebrows, waxing, pedicure, wear nicely ironed matching clothes, wear a suitable earrings, bindis etc if you want, no need for anything more than that!!!

    And if he likes the way your SIL smells, ask her for her perfume/soap/cosmetic brand, try it out and see if it suits you !!! Else go to any mall/store and try some perfumes and see what suits YOUR personality!!!
     
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  4. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Do you notice and compliment your husband? Just a thought:)
     
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  5. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    I suggest you-
    1. Go to a good parlor and get a new haircut and style. They usually use good anti frizz products. You can also ask them to suggest some herbal or natural anti frizz shampoos. Plus a new hairstyle can do wonders to you! It can bring a refreshing change to our stagnant personality.

    I used to go for haircuts once in 4 months and envied those ladies with beautiful curls. Then I realized that it's important to go for haircut once in a month.

    2. Get a fruit facial or at least a cleanup. I usually get a cleanup done if any. Otherwise I have a cleanser,scrub and face pack and do it myself. If you wash your face at night everyday, I bet your acne will come down.

    3. You can find many videos on how to do pedicure,manicure,different hairstyles. (I don't do it..but just for ur info)

    4. Use deodorants everyday. Get a new perfume! I used sensuous by estee lauder before I started using Vera wang's now. In India I used to use cobra and just loved it,but I can't find it anywhere now. Guess poison should be something like that..not sure. But poison and brute are good names.

    5.take care of yourself and try to pay attention to your hair,face and body for a few months and see if your husband's attitude changes. I'm sure he'll notice.

    P.S..I had to type all of this twice since I lost my post somehow..so please come back to give your feedback if your husband complimented you after this(in case you choose to do it)
     
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  6. manjukps

    manjukps IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Vasavi,

    First leave your complex / self pity.

    Be confindent of your looks and that will show in your face.

    go to a parlour and have some services which will relax you and motivate you and most importantly compliment yourself.

    Start complimenting your husband's looks. Let it be anything like when he wears a new shirt or hairstyle / his shampooed hair, his smile etc. etc.

    Never feel let down.

    All the best

    Regards
    Manjukps
     
  7. cj1980

    cj1980 Gold IL'ite

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    is it wrong from my side to have expectation that he should say I look beautifull ? No, not at all

    Or should I inform him that I expect his compliments some times...? Well, try handing out a few compliments to your DH...see how he likes it...at the right time (not right after you compliment him!), tell him it will give you a lot of joy to know that he likes the way you look.

    Or should I silently keep quiet and come to the conclusion that I wont deserve such compliments ? NOPE! That's self-deprecating. Don't go down that road 'coz you'll find that grand old lady Depression waiting for you!

    Or should I look out for other sources in order to get compliments? What do you mean by other sources? See, it's awkward to go around waiting to be complimented, be it friends or family. Like the other ILs have suggested, groom yourself really well...it will definitely boost your confidence. Let me give you a tip..I too have a long face and am dusky complexioned...the best hair cut that suits long faces is a nice layered cut with bangs in the front, as it will reduce the length of your face. There are many home remedies and skin clinics that can help you with acne (Kaya or some reputed dermatologist)...when you keep yourself well groomed you can just sit back and bask in the compliments!

    Or Should I stop worrying about this and concentrtae on other areas of my life? Well...kinda! Like I mentioned before, you need to love yourself first and feel comfortable in your own skin. Yes, every girl wants to be attractive to her husband...so get some nice perfume, lingerie, etc to feel good. Forget about how your SIL looks...no matter how beautiful a person looks on the outside, it will all go south with age! So, it's your inner beauty that needs to shine through at the end of the day.

    As I always say 'A compliment a day keeps divorce away!' :)...so try to find something in your DH to compliment him every day...I bet he has a change of heart and reciprocates.

    Regards,
    Carol
     
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  8. srenesubbi

    srenesubbi Junior IL'ite

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    You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her. ~Author Unknown
    hi ther that should be ther da.never feel low about looks be confident.frizzy hair is type like straight or curly dear stop feeling for that. ur looks r nt decided by u it was gn to u. ur skin face come frm ur parents by worrying about ur looks r u not blaming them?try out new hairstyle if u wish and nt for him to compliment.wat if he dnt do even u do all this? come on da be confident.he is nt comparin u with her rite? make him realise everyone is unique and they have rite to be different.good luck.
     
  9. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    firstly, dont worry too much.

    then, feel good about yourself. pamper yourself.

    go get a new haircut, facials, a new wardrobe...even a makeover.

    get yourself some sexy lingerie. not just to please your hubby, but mostly for yourself. cos believe me, every woman feels sexy in a lingerie.

    good luck.
     
  10. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Vasavi

    I am sure you are beautiful in and out. Beauty lies in viewers eyes!! Never ever under estimate yourself. Have confidence in yourself. Keep good diet to reduce acne, avoid oily food. Do yoga and meditation.

    My husband also don't give me compliments inspite of having extremely good looks, very fair skin, shiny hair. He and every one in his family has dark complexion, rough hair, average looks and poor education. In my family everyone has exceptionally good looks, fair complexion, good education. Everywhere I go people give me compliments except my dh and my in laws.

    My dh was madly in love with me before marriage but after marriage he started comparing me with his sister's cooking, housekeeping skills, her submissive nature (she says women will never be equal to men, women should always be dependant on men etc)

    So basically it doesn't matter how you look or how well presentable you are, dh and in laws will always see your flaws. So don't think much about them. You create your own happiness with your hard work, focus on your skills, take good care of your health.
     
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