1. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Wedding Gift Thank You Etiquette

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Rihana, Dec 7, 2019.

  1. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,545
    Likes Received:
    8,733
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    I’ve never done this. Thanks for bringing this up. I’m going to get my kids to do this. Well the one kid whom I still have control over at least!
     
    Rihana and Viswamitra like this.
  2. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    1,031
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I am wondering too, what is the current norm. I remember, that there used to a designated person(s) to take gift away from bride and groom and stash is away in a bag or room- which was paid much attention to
     
    kkrish likes this.
  3. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    1,031
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I have taught to write Thankyou notes to my lil ones. I have asked to them to write so so many till now- some for trips to relative in US, to teachers at the end of school year, a nice gesture, birthdays were no brainer- that ones were packed in the return gift, or given next day

    I stand all for saying "thanks" for small things and big things. Going to a wedding, in proper attire, taking time away from your schedule, going as a family- all are very important things to be thanked for.

    But I have seen, as in another thread mentioned here, that "thanks and thank you and gratitude" are not a part of our traditional (old time culture). May be they went with desi culture of "friendship mei no thank you" from SRK movie. Or just that bride and groom are already fighting about who does what and in the process, delaying the thankyou notes.
     
    Rihana and kkrish like this.
  4. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,476
    Likes Received:
    9,711
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    No, it should not be the woman's job. It should be shared.
    The young man should write the notes to his friends, his parents-side family, and friends of his parents.
    The young lady should do similarly.

    In the end both should sign at the bottom if it is a card.
    If via email, sign as from both, cc the spouse.
     
    Amica and Rihana like this.
  5. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,476
    Likes Received:
    9,711
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, @hermitcrab
    In India we never had the protocol of sending thank you notes.
    My parents noted down all the gifts and from whom they received and made sure that they gifted the families later at different occasions.

    I noticed this trend also while in India. Nowadays I keep quiet realizing that I have assimilated some of the US culture and it is wrong of me to expect the same from my desi friends and relatives.

    :beer-toast1::thumbsup::roflmao:That's it @Rihana . This is the true reason for the delay/absence of a thank you acknowledgement.:D
     
    hermitcrab and Rihana like this.
  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,545
    Likes Received:
    8,733
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Hmmm. For weddings in my family and extended family, after the event, we send a thank you note to all the gift givers with wedding pictures of the bride and groom. I signed 400 notes after my wedding before I left on my honey moon!
     
    Amica and Rihana like this.
  7. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,640
    Likes Received:
    23,738
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Well, if they thanked the giver in person then the thank you note is optional. Such as if the gifts were opened at the end of the party.

    I tried teaching my kids. They do it but rather reluctantly. Takes quite some reminding and sometimes I have to pretty much dictate the content of the note. "One sentence about why you like it, what you will buy the gift card, and one sentence thanking Aunty for coming to the party.." even after I say that they cannot think of what to write. A few times after an argument about it, I asked them, "wouldn't you like to receive thank you if you give someone something?" Big mistake. I got the honest reply, "No, I don't care whether they thank me or not." :lol:
     
    Laks09, Sinant and Mistt like this.
  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,640
    Likes Received:
    23,738
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, that is exactly what I remember. One responsible person, not too old to be running around, : ) was appointed in-charge of the gifts. Sometimes in a hurry or to avoid multiple sprints to the "safe" space where gifts were stored, said in-charge used to stow away cash envelopes in the blouse enveloping her ample bosom. : ) Oh how I miss those times and the confusion that always beautifully sorted itself out in those weddings.

    But, in weddings in India, I rarely give the gift to the bride/groom. For relatives, it is given ahead of time, and often to the parents. That is how it is.
     
    hermitcrab likes this.
  9. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,640
    Likes Received:
    23,738
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    I think it might be due to the desi culture also. It is more a western thing to thank people for things that are expected (such as wedding gifts). By the same token, being invited to a wedding is an honor in some western weddings where the guest count is carefully controlled either due to cost or to keep it a small affair.
     
    kkrish and hermitcrab like this.
  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,575
    Likes Received:
    4,226
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Amica and Rihana like this.

Share This Page