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Visiting your home with DH first time after marriage :)

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Evolet, Oct 10, 2012.

  1. Evolet

    Evolet Senior IL'ite

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    Hi ILites

    How did ur DH manage first visit to your mom's place..

    My family is almost like a joint family, all my mom's siblings and dad's siblings stay in different houses but just a street apart. So we visited all their houses since it was our first visit after marriage..(though I ll do it every time I visit )

    Though all my relatives are generally very friendly and talk very well , My DH is very silent and does nt mingle with everyone so easily.So as soon as we planned the trip , My DH asked me to promise that I will not leave him alone in my home any time during the visit , since he is new to all my relatives.

    I tried my best to be with him all through , but sometimes when I went to my chithi's house I went to kitchen like I usually do.. and he was just following me.. I realised he was with me half way through and when I asked what happened.. He said I told you not to leave me alone.. so If you move away from hall , I ll keep coming behind u :)..

    Morning I woke up and went to cut vegetables for my mom and after 5 mins he was also there.. asking me to keep up the promise ... so i asked him to join the task and made him cut veggies :)

    Even when he went to take bath , he asked me to wait in the room and keep the bedroom locked until he dresses up. I did it the first day but the second day , to tease him, kept the bed room door wide open and went to kitchen.He came out singing and for a minute he was shocked to see the door open since he came out with just towel :)..

    On the whole it went well for me.. But I think my DH had a slightly tough time mingling with all my relatives.. I guess I dint had any such issues , thanks to TIPS from IL. I wish my DH also visits IL and gets some TIPS on "How can husbands cope up with in laws after marriage ". But yes while returning he said he had a good vacation but he ll remember all the pranks and will pay it back when time is right lol...

    So how were your visits....
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Well, it is a good thing men don't have babies, isn't it. :)

    The few times DH has visited my family, I am sort of on-call. He is easy-going enough, but somehow all the interactions between him and my parents/siblings seem to go through me. If all are sitting in the drawing room or at the dining table and generally talking, when they say something to each other, they keep looking at me like I am the referee or something. :)

    Generally, all, including him, me and my family are glad when he goes to his family's place, and my "visit" to my family really starts. :)
     
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  3. Evolet

    Evolet Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Rihana

    I thought it was just my DH who needed me all through.. :)
     
  4. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    hi,
    1st time my hubby visited my parents place they made all his favourite snacks,main course & dessert...........he had to eat all & got terrible acidity in night.........poor felow could not sleep allnight & was embrassed to explain to me also.....
    next morning again b'fast was of his favourite paranthas & halwa which he managed to eat somehow......we went to a temple with my family in afternoon & were supposed to lunch outside in resturant but by this time he has managed some courage & said no....we came home & mummy made some kichadi for him..............
    since then he is very choosy about dinner invitations & prefers to say NO instead of suffering......
     
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  5. christine014

    christine014 Gold IL'ite

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    The first time we went home, I was really nervous and I didn't know how it would go. My Husband wouldn't even hold my hand in front of my Dad. Actually, my Dad was arguing that he's taller than my dh(he isn't) and my mom was making fun of him and we overheard and I was laughing, and later at dinner my husband casually slipped it in the conversation and made a remark that in fact my dad is taller than him, and then my dad laughed and agreed he's not.

    Since both my Dad and my Husband are from an army background, they usually get on very well with each other when others are not around. My Dad is a smoker but my Husband doesn't smoke and he only drinks socially, but my dh always fixes a drink for Dad and puts a chair for him in the balcony so he can sit down and smoke.

    On the first day of our visit we stayed up until 3 am just talking, all 4 of us and it was pretty great.

    Nice thread, you made me recall sweet memories.
     
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  6. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    He was comfortable talking to my parents and siblings as he visited our home sometimes during our courtship period as well. He was mostly with his laptop doing some office work. Actually, even my MIL and elder SIL also visited our home along with my DH in first visit.

    So it was more of a routine than anything unusual or funny.
     
  7. Evolet

    Evolet Senior IL'ite

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    Mahajanpragati..

    Acidity by making him eat his favourite food... :) no wonder he Prefers to say NO to dinner invitations.. but yeah I think the best part about visiting our home with DH is that girls' parents are mostly submissive and try impressing their Son In Law.. So no tension no fights and it turns out to be nice time..at least for girls ...

    Christine...

    Talking till 3 am with mom , dad and husband.. wow tat makes a family.. that was one thing I wanted to do as well.. but we spoke for just 1 hour and went to sleep.. this is definitely one thing I want to do when I visit next time.. Glad that it brought fond memories to you :)

    nicegirlradhi

    Having MIL and SIL along with DH.. my god that should have been a nervous one.. Had it been me I would have been tensed all the time to ensure things go well..
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2012
  8. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    In these 2 yrs of marriage, DH had visited my parents only once and that too for only a week. But, it went on well. (Better than our stay at my PIL's, at least). :thumbsup
    Sometimes I compare that time with time spent in PIL's place.....

    Mom made great meals three times a day. Not even once we had to eat plain daily food. We went to hotel only once in those 7 days. But at in-laws, everyday it was same, roti-sabzi, dal-chawal. And almost every second night they would order from outside. When I visited them alone (DH was in US) MIL used to say, she wish DH had come. She would cook so much for him. (can't even expect she can cook something nice for me !) But when he did come, she made nothing. Absolutely nothing !!! Such double-standards..... Witsend

    DH managed well too. When Dad went to office, he used to sit in kitchen and talk with us. In afternoons he would either watch TV or sleep, while I gossiped with Mom. He would wait for Dad to comeback more than we would. One day dad took him to his office also. IMO, he looked more at ease there than he is in his parents house. :)

    Not only days, but even nights were good :wink: He would keep me at hands distance at night when we were at PIL's place in the fear of waking up MIL. He had no such concerns in my parents place.

    Thanks a lot for starting this topic.... Brought out nice memories :thankyou2:
     
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  9. snm1984

    snm1984 Platinum IL'ite

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    Brings back mixed memories-awkward,pleasant and happy.He was scared to come to my house itself,because of brainwashing by mil. Circumstances forced him to stay for over a month,my parents made him feel at ease & welcome.Gradually he became comfortable.His best memories were about my mom's cooking(she makes tastier and a wide variety of dishes compared to my mil) and our early morning walks after which we had tender coconuts every day from the street vendor.Those were some great bonding moments for us and it will be evergreen memories.
     
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