very disappointed wit my friends..

I agree that people change. They have met 100s of people since you left and made 100s of friends. Being abroad, you haven't made any friends. Hence you long for their company and wish they were the same. But they are growing and changing according to the surroundings. Their conversations and your conversations are different. Its just like when one becomes a parent and the conversations move towards kids. You find yourself finding like minded people and the singles or couples with no kids drop from your friends list or those you want to spend time with.

Their lives doesn't stop when a friend pops from abroad. You are on a holiday, not them.


However, if you run into a friend who has lived abroad for a while and now settled in India, you will find them much more open to you. They have lived your life, they can related to your conversation.

Not to worry, this is normal and you are normal. :cheers


Why restrict yourself with Indian friends in USA? You have decided to live in USA, why not open yourself to locals? You might even find yourself aligning with other immigrants, chinese, europeans etc.

Do you go to any meetups? How about arts and crafts or gardening or anything else that interests you. The best place to make friends is outside of work, where you go somewhere with not the intent to meet people but for something else (hobby / sports ). The more often you see them and the more you can share your common interest, the more friendly they will become.

This is a possibility if you open up to it. Good luck.

 

Dear OP, ther is nothing wrong with you! You seem to be like that friend who loves to cherish memories, who loves to refresh it with a cuppa!

I would not call your expectations uncommon. However, we cannot expect them to have the same interests as we move forward! You seem to have a wonderful life! Trust me, and that is why you have time to think of friends!! They might be busy with their own lives!! And who knows what they are going through!

Before that

- have you tried to call them on the weekends? It might be that they are at the office and are really busy! Later they would ve forgotten to call you back!

- Schedule a time for skype or something.

- If possible write them a big email on how you miss them and I am sure once if a friend sees a long email from a friend, they would reply, no matter what!!

In my humble opinion, they have failed to cherish the few wonderful moments to share with friends.

Coming to you, never feel bad about petty things. We do not know how busy they are or what problem they have. Let us not expect them to spend time for you. Instead find the friend in you. Spend every moment of yours carefully and usefully. Try new cuisines, set something every week to look forward to.

It is that when you have something great to look fwd to, say - a potluck, dinner invite with friends, movie date with DH.... you would not have much time to worry about these petty things. Obviously, friends are important. But them not replying you is not something to worry upon! They might call you when they might get time or who knows they might have it everytime in their to-do list and is de-prioritizing due to their schedule!!

Well, try contacting them, but do not make it the main agenda!! And never worry if friends do not reply you. It happens! But refresh your friendship once in a while with a beautiful e-card of personalized gift from you. You will hear from them, do not worry!

 

hey anika .... join the club
even i am in the same situation as you are.... i have moved recently to abroad and friends back in India are least bothered...
Well, initially i did feel bad but now getting on with life... trying to make new friends, took up a hobby, learning driving ...
And believe me now i am least concerned about my friends and involved with my new life...
So we both are normal and change is very common in life... Don't worry just keep doing stuff and enjoy life!!!

 

I am also kind of in the same boat !! I however did not try to retain all my friends, just 3 people that I call and talk and make sure that I stay in touch !! One of them still dsnt have time !! I have seen tht I have bonded better with friends who are married now as more common topics to talk abt ! So waiting for some of them to get married and include them in our group !! Also what helps is maybe a group on whatsapp , of your college or school friends, in that way some on or the other keeps talking or fwding news abt members of the batch so that way even if no one has time to talk we still stay connected !! Feels good to just know what is going on in everyones life ! One of my batchmates took the initiative to take evryone's number and make the grp maybe u can do the same!! On whatsapp its pretty easy !!