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Urgent::::pls Solve This Dilemma !!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cur123, May 17, 2019.

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  1. May 17, 2019 #11
    senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    B should save her self respect an dignity and stay away from A.
    Thats what I would do. I always stay away from people who are negative as it drains my energy and spoils my mood.
     
    senorita2019, May 17, 2019
    senorita2019, May 17, 2019
    #11
  2. May 17, 2019 #12
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    @cur123,

    With regard to PIL, it is pretty simple. Her son is not invited and you would like to make sure his respect is in tact. With regard to your PIL, you should mention that you have so much respect for them and that is precisely why you are trying to keep their son in high esteem. Please mention that you would be missing spending time with them.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    #12
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  3. May 17, 2019 #13
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    exactly my thoughts!!! actually the dilemma /reason was because of MIL:confundio1: ...she said "ONE SHD HAVE BIG HEART AND FORGIVE SUCH INSULTS" ..i resisted and replied that "u r right but there is a limit to once patience and big heartedness and forgiveness " :smash2: but she kept on coaxing by giving the argument that relatives will talk and taunt about it and they what will they say about us and so on ....anyway ...thanks all for timely and prompt reply ..most of u backed up my thoughts and now my dilemma is almost clear ....u all hv attested /endorsed my thoughts ...thanks to all of u clever friends :clap2: for the help:clap2:
     
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
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  4. May 17, 2019 #14
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    B and her husband should go, stay for a suitable amount of time, and leave. They should do this for the sake of the PIL's and to avoid comments from relatives. Any drama from A will speak for itself.

    Typed response before I read the post above this.
     
    Rihana, May 17, 2019
    Rihana, May 17, 2019
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  5. May 17, 2019 #15
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    As uninvited guest? Face humiliations from the baby shower related customs? Get humiliated in the presence of relatives? A doesn't care what relatives think as otherwise she won't be doing all that tantrum including not inviting BIL and his wife. Does B and her husband have any right to self-pride?
     
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
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  6. May 17, 2019 #16
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    What about informing PILS that A has not invited B and ask their opinion. If they ask B to join, then go there, reach there on time, spend sometime and come back. Avoid direct interaction with A. The issue is between A and B, if B dont go all people will come to know about this for sure. A cannot misbehave that easily in front of all family members.
     
    DDream, May 17, 2019
    DDream, May 17, 2019
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  7. May 17, 2019 #17
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    actually A never invites anyone ever ...and she is not interested in relative gatherings but PILS R VERY SOCIAL PPL AND THEY R THE ONES WHO TAKE CARE OF INVITATIONS (except her friends and relatives whom she calls and invites ). thats why i was pondering abt this ...:BangHead:
     
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    #17
  8. May 17, 2019 #18
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Now I understand the priorities of men Vs women through this discussion.
     
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
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  9. May 17, 2019 #19
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    In such ceremonies, it is not quite clear who is the host and who are guests. It is A's baby shower, a ritual typically organized by others. It is not A's house-warming ceremony.

    B and B's husband should consider going for the sake of the PIL's. If they are treated wrongly, it will be obvious to all attending. Having all family in one place at one time means a lot to older people. Self-respect can be put aside for a greater cause.

    Of course, if B and her husband don't want to to go, they have sufficient reason to not go. Nothing wrong in not going.
     
    Rihana, May 17, 2019
    Rihana, May 17, 2019
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  10. May 17, 2019 #20
    Viswamitra

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    Well, let me understand this. The function is for A. A will only invite her friends and her relatives and no one else. A's parents-in-law invites everyone at their side to make sure A is blessed by them. A's husband is a silent spectator to all these happenings. B and B's husband are included as ordinary relative invitees by in-laws. If everyone accepts this behavior and go with it, why should A change herself? Don't A's husband and his parents encourage such a behavior by their actions? Why would they not confront A? Her behavior was the same even before she was pregnant.
     
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
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