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upset..need ur opinion ladies. .relationship between mom n daughter

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014.

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  1. Jun 4, 2014 #1
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Dear friends,
    Am a regular reader of IndusLadies. .I appreciate many ladies opinion
    and suggestions. .pls do answer if u were in my situation.

    My n my mom are best friends. .we share everything going on in our day
    to day life. I already have a kid..me n my mother usually have to have 1 or 2 kids
    my mom usually says 1kid is good in this present world..even
    I had a same opinion. .but later when my elder was 4yrs..I got
    a opinion to have second one..no matter boy or girl as my elder one
    is girl.but still she was firm to have one kid and I was brain washed by her.
    finally when my elder one was 61/2 yr I felt so much b decided
    to go for second. .but tat time my mother was sick n said don't go for
    But accidently i became pregrant by God's grace..now am happily
    blessed with baby boy all are happy. .they came n took care of me

    As a general conversation. .when I was discussing I said I could have
    planned earlier to avoid huge age difference..and its bcoz of her
    and said not all decision are right(I should not have mentioned but
    she is very confident all her decision are correct) but she got hurted
    so much and was very upset. .
    Did u ladies believe wat I said is wrong and I shud not have
    said like tat..now am very very upset for upsetting her..feeling
    that I shud have talked like tat..pls pour ur opinions..
    thanks
    bestmom
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2014
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
    #1
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  2. Jun 4, 2014 #2
    RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

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    You are right contenct wise with what you said.. but its sometimes better to stay quiet about something. Specially because in your case its gone and done anywhays. She shud not have tried to influence you and you shud not have been influenced by her so much about such sensitive matter like family planning (that shud be totally between husband and wife), but that is past :) So dont have hard feelings towards her. Tell her you are sorry if you hurt her and appologize in case you did so. Tell her you felt age gab is too big and had a sort of sentimental moment due to that and that you both might have been wrong a bit about that planning. Gift her something to bring back smile to her face :)
     
    RedRuby, Jun 4, 2014
    RedRuby, Jun 4, 2014
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    4 people like this.
  3. Jun 4, 2014 #3
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks redruby
    I shud not have pulled the past..she also said the same
    the word I said all decision are right..she feels she is so much
    hurted..I really upset for my words


     
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
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  4. Jun 4, 2014 #4
    Oom40

    Oom40 New IL'ite

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    Hi friend,

    If you say that you and your mother are good friends then please take all this on a lighter note. Mothers get angry/upset but they forget about it very soon. Don't worry about what you said and how she reacted.. that's fine. You are still good friends but different individuals so your opinions will never match at all times!

    Take a chill pill and forget about it. Enjoy your motherhood to the fullest and don't care too much about your kid's age difference etc etc.. god has blessed you with these two jewels, which you have wishes for so be happy about it... n don't involve your mother in this and get stressed..Enjoy life and bring happiness to others life as well.. Cheers!
     
    Oom40, Jun 4, 2014
    Oom40, Jun 4, 2014
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  5. Jun 4, 2014 #5
    chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi, I agree with other posters. While what you said is correct, it may have been better not to have mentioned it. From my personal experience, I feel parents do tend to get a bit sensitive as years go by. Even if we try to say some thing casual, they tend to take it as we are blaming them or complaining about them. I guess this is because of some insecurities and they feel as if their opinions don't matter to us because we have started taking our decisions now. Me and my sisters are super close with my mom and she never once shouted/got upset with us all these years. But nowdays even if we mention this dish will taste better this way, she gets offended that we have grown up and become know-it-alls and always criticizing her way of doing things. But mothers and daughters can never stay mad at each other for long. Just make it up to her.
     
    chillbreeze, Jun 4, 2014
    chillbreeze, Jun 4, 2014
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  6. Jun 4, 2014 #6
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks oom and chillbreeze..
    Am normal with my mom and she is too but she looks upset
    and she is getting better..I never thought my casual words can
    get so sensitive..as chillbreeze said parents become sensitive when
    They get aged. .my mom scolds me directly and never keeps
    in heart..but this topic went on a debate. .
    Once again thank you ladies. .for consoling me
    regards
    Bestmom
     
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
    Bestmom, Jun 4, 2014
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  7. Jun 5, 2014 #7
    RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

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    Try to act cassual and divert her by topics if she seems upset, dont start on that topic again if you both are already talking normally again. If she starts the topic again you can mention what i suggestet in first post and then divert her again, it will be past soon and totally forgotten.
     
    RedRuby, Jun 5, 2014
    RedRuby, Jun 5, 2014
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  8. Jun 9, 2014 #8
    tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to be blunt, but why are you discussing family planning with your mom?????

    It should be STRICTLY between u and your husband! Imagine, if your husband sat and planned this with his moms opinion???
     
    tulipzz, Jun 9, 2014
    tulipzz, Jun 9, 2014
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    sindmani, yellowmango, NaveenaSasi and 3 others like this.
  9. Jun 10, 2014 #9
    Bestmom

    Bestmom Silver IL'ite

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    True tulipzz
    it should be between us..I even discuss with mil..she always its ur wish
    but my mom is concerned whether I will be able to manage
    financially n physically. .and also I need her during my delivery and also



     
    Bestmom, Jun 10, 2014
    Bestmom, Jun 10, 2014
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  10. Jun 10, 2014 #10
    vasumathi89

    vasumathi89 Silver IL'ite

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    though ur mom said, u too ve ur own sense.. blaming her alone is somewhat rubbish... hugs to your mom.. apologise to her for uttering such a word..
     
    vasumathi89, Jun 10, 2014
    vasumathi89, Jun 10, 2014
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