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Ungrateful friends

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Laxmi1980, May 14, 2013.

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  1. May 14, 2013 #1
    Laxmi1980

    Laxmi1980 Silver IL'ite

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    They are just mere aquaintance. Yes we are not really friends with them. We have flats in the same complex in india but yes she (the wife) played a very political role then. I never liked her and hardly ever talked to her. Now they are in US and has planned a visit to a place where we stay and want to put up at our house only to save the Lodging and Fooding cost( im sure about that).The night before their trip , she called me to say they will be putting up at our place. I was not so happy but still I agreed as she is coming with two small kids. I had other plans which i cancelled only to accomodate them. All fine we played the perfect host. What shocked me is there is not even a single call saying "Thank You".As usual they do not keep in touch. I wonder how ungrateful and selfish people can be.
     
    Laxmi1980, May 14, 2013
    Laxmi1980, May 14, 2013
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  2. May 14, 2013 #2
    sanvi5

    sanvi5 Silver IL'ite

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    I think this should be moved to relationship with friends and neighbours section.

    I think you did a great job from your end being a perfect host. It is reasonable to expect a thank you call. May be your friend was very busy as you said she has two small kids. Give some time and see , she may call you later.

    Even though she may be selfish to not say thank you but her heart always reminds her of your hospitality and makes her guilty for not saying thank you.
     
    sanvi5, May 14, 2013
    sanvi5, May 14, 2013
    #2
  3. May 14, 2013 #3
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Mistake one.
    Mistake two.
    Mistake three.
    Shock me once, shame on you. Shock me thrice.............
    As much as you will let them be and get away with.

    If an acquaintance calls you the previous night and say they will be staying at your place with two kids, and you cannot say No, you have only yourself to blame for whatever follows.
     
    Rihana, May 14, 2013
    Rihana, May 14, 2013
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  4. May 14, 2013 #4
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    They are ungrateful. But not friends.
     
    Anitap, May 14, 2013
    Anitap, May 14, 2013
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  5. May 14, 2013 #5
    Laxmi1980

    Laxmi1980 Silver IL'ite

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    Hey Rihana , I agree with you. I have made the mistakes. And I am actually repenting and feeling sorry for myself. But I hope I do learn from these mistakes and can be a little bold in saying "NO"
     
    Laxmi1980, May 14, 2013
    Laxmi1980, May 14, 2013
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  6. May 14, 2013 #6
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Dont worry Laxmi,
    You will get a "Thank You" call the night before their NEXT trip to your place. :)
     
    Radhai, May 14, 2013
    Radhai, May 14, 2013
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  7. May 14, 2013 #7
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I learnt from my DH. I also used to bend over backwards to host or accommodate people's plans.. after hearing me crib crib crib, he said, just trying saying NO a few times. People will adjust pretty fast. He was right and sure enough people stopped taking us and our time light.... the people are still our friends, and now they take us less for granted. :)
     
    Rihana, May 14, 2013
    Rihana, May 14, 2013
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  8. May 16, 2013 #8
    Decentguy

    Decentguy New IL'ite

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    If you are saying they are aquaintances, why have you started a thread calling them "friends"?
     
    Decentguy, May 16, 2013
    Decentguy, May 16, 2013
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  9. May 16, 2013 #9
    reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    My 2 cents ..

    I was thinking about having to deal with the same situation and honestly, I wouldnt mind hosting an acquanitance and family for a day or 2 whom I know from India when they make a visit to my place in the US.

    Ofcourse, it will be a problem if it is a working day or I have prior appointments and I will be very open about it and set the expectations clear. If I have to go to work on that day, I will not hesitate to put them off saying - "Oh, but I have to go to work".

    But otherwise, especially if it is a weekend , I wouldnt mind accomodating them. Especially since she is a lady with 2 little kids, I dont mind being considerate and really to me it isnt that much of a trouble. I will cook in moderation and anyway, I have the guests just for a couple of days, they are not going to stay back for a month or so..

    After they leave, I wouldnt expect anything much from their side. If they thank me.. it would make me feel good, but even if they didnt, it is not a big deal for me.
     
    reshsabu, May 16, 2013
    reshsabu, May 16, 2013
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  10. May 25, 2013 #10
    sandylee123

    sandylee123 Silver IL'ite

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    They are just acquaintance, not friends. I don't like these kinds of people too. They don't care about other's feelings. But also, you need to tell them that you have other things to do and it's not convenient to receive them if you really don't want to.
     
    sandylee123, May 25, 2013
    sandylee123, May 25, 2013
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