Troubled

Hi OP,

I too was in your situation few years ago. Almost the same feeling. Felt ignored by relatives, missed having a real good close friend whom I can meet up once in a week or 2, cousin to gossip around. In fact my both sisters are quite close to cousins and other relatives. Used to feel bad seeing my colleagues hang out with their friends almost every weekend. But when looked closely, I understood how fake those relationships were. My colleague who had new pic on FB on every weekend, had a friend who used to call her black. I mean seriously, how can she stand such person. She used to talk about her friend on her absence to others and the same weekend she had outing with her !
My sisters have got good relations with relatives but that also takes compromises and adjustments. More they meet up, more they talk and dirty thoughts and things come out. They do have personality differences, they mock behind that person but then get along for the sake of it.
I seriously cant tolerate such behaviour from anyone. and don't want to be befriend with any of such sort. I am not in one of the family WhatsApp group too. I used to feel bad, but not now. The moment I set my individual goals in life I stopped expecting such things. I feel low of having had such thought previously and wasting my emotions, time, peace of mind for such a small thing. Now I know what I want to do in my career, my child, my pregnancy, husband, parents, in-laws. Problems are always going to be there with Husband, parents, in-laws but I have become selfish in saving my peace and ignore their harsh words.
Stop expecting someone to accept you, follow your path, people will follow you later. Now my relatives say I am focused in my life, nice quite girl and also no sense person...which is Infact true.

Mantra is- Be happy with yourself, enjoy your life, focus on your thing.

 

Yes. you need professional help. Along with that, it is your efforts which will be more useful. Something is bothering you, something back of your mind, you need to find and deal with it. All the best.

 

After reading this post it makes me feel that you are indeed in need of good medical help because it seems like your problem is beyond the introvert or kitty party or ladies or relatives or friends problem.

Did anything change in your life that triggered this ?

I think you need to figure out what started this? when did this start? N what is the real problem ?

Find your inner happiness first, through professional help or loved one help / self realisation, start your inner healing process n start feeling the positive change inside you, n the rest will fall in place after that. Everything get better when you start feeling better.

Being an introvert myself, I know all too well about the inner struggle in a social setup. I changed myself going against every bit of my natural self because I wanted more. So I became the change I wanted to be. I am not gona lie it's easy, it was tough, sometime it still is but that change gives me what I want, my friends, my social life, etc - not just for me but for my family too. It's a positive change, I feel.

So once you sort out your inner or deep rooted issues, all this may become easier to handle.

 

Op....parents often ignore the banter between siblings if it does not involve bad language or violence.

A mother of a child who is not expressive at home ,going to school to check if the child has friends shows that the mother cares deeply about the child. Intrusive maybe, sly maybe ....but definetely caring.

Most whatsapp groups are made up of majority of silent members. A few are regulars participants,a few are reacters and the rest are silent .
Unless some one is ignoring your direct posts,it should not be taken to heart.

I have not read the entire thread. I read your last post and thought I would give you a mothers view.

 

Is it possibly by any chance that you are imagining the worst here? Perhaps due to some long term bullying or whatever that your mind has stopped to see the positive side of all?
Because, I am skeptical about the fact that everyone is bad in your circle.
It is kind of understandable if only your sister is mean. But looks like your sister, your parents, your relatives, your cousins, your neighbors and the people around your present life are also mean it seems.
If it is by any chance your negativity (due to whatever the reasons), better you consult a therapist immediately and seek medical attention. This way, you will see a huge difference in everything/everyone you know.

Generally speaking.... People are always a mixed package. Some bads and some goods in everyone's character.
From my own experience, I have millions of problems with my mom. You would have read some of them in this forum as well.
If I am to write all the things that she has done to hurt me since the past few years (even since my birth), you all would label that she is the worst mom ever.
But I call her the best mom. How is it even possible?
Because, I am tuned to see the other side as well.
I see how much she is caring me, how much she is pampering me, how much she is putting me first, and how much she is always thinking about me. The list has no end.
When I try to balance both the sides, I end up feeling proud to have such a wonderful mom.
Same goes with my siblings and cousins. There are times they hurt me, there are times we had heated arguments and non-talking mode. There are times we dwell in misunderstanding. Yet, we call each other as our best peers. We can't even imagine a life without them.
It is all about how you view your relationships.