In unhappy marriages, where the wife hates her life, and has been a victim of loads of abuse- physical and emotional,in the hands of their very own husband's literally cry every day and say they lost hopes on future, yet maintain that they still love their husbands. It is understandable that they had a great life initially, were in love with their spouses, before all the abuse started. But, 1. How can a wife still maintain that she loves her husband, despite acknowledging that he makes her life a living hell. Is she trying to act the martyr or is it because of mistaken concepts if love. 2.why doesn't the same principle apply to a mil? Why is it that we lose our respect for ils easily but yet love the spineless husband who is a mute spectator to ils abuse of his wife? The term I used to/I was in love are more apt when describing an abusive . If we still vehemently insist that despite all the physical/mental abuse, lack of character, respect for woman, we still love our husbands dearly, then it's time we wake up, dust our shoulders off and realise that, that particular emotion is not love, but it's more of our hope in hanging on to the skeletons of perfection, we imagine, exist. P.s. I am not talking about marriages where couples face domestic issues, have some rough times and later patch up. In fact, in those circumstances, it's our love for the spouse, that helps us buy some patience, understand their view point and come to an amicable solution. I am talking about the ones where, the spouse has turned a victim to the abuse of another. Your thoughts!!