Too much intrusion is always bad!

There is no hard and fast rule that the husband should involve only his parents and if u have a brother, he should involve only his parents in everything and leave off the wife's parents... What if a couple has only daughters and no sons?? Is it that they should stay off everything and live like a stranger having no right or say in anything??? What u say is not at all acceptable... I am married for 3 years now and my husband involves my parents in everything(that they need to be involved in) just like his parents... He does not give his parents any superior authority for anything... And even if he does that I am not going to like it... Just like him, I too have parents and I would also like my parents to be treated equally... I will not let it go or adjust saying they are my husbands parents so they only have more rights in everything and that I should adjust with all this... And in one of ur posts u have mentioned that husbands parents have more rights, girls parents should stay away but if girls have any trouble with their in-laws or husband, her parents should be involved... I will never use my parents for my problems and throw them away and ask them to stay away from my family when some important decision has to be taken saying only my husbands parents should be involved... Just like my husband, even my parents worked hard to bring me up... They have all rights in my life... And u said the wife's parents should not insult their SIL... See, u cannot advise people to do this or that or say this/that is right based on what has happened in ur family... Each one's situation is different... If ur dad had spoken something to ur hsuabnd and if he felt insulted or if u did not like it, do u think its the same everywhere??? My dad also suggested my husabnd about buying an apt in my city, neither my husband nor I felt bad or felt like my dad insulted my husband... I know my dad will do only good for us and what he suggested was good... My husabnd was infact happy that my dad suggested something like that... Even if my husbands parents suggest something good, I would definitely listen to that... But according to u, wife should control her parents but husband need not control his parents and it is the wife who has to adjust and think it's her own family... Why can't the husband also think the same??? Think the wife's parents are like his parents and what they say could be right... Why only the girl and her parents should adjust??? I really don't understand why ur advising things like this... And coming to ur example of buying gold... U said when ur husband wanna buy something for u, he would give the money to his mom and at the same time ur brother would give money to ur mom to buy for his wife... I dont know what sort of an example u have given... U say thats what happens and we need to adjust... See, all these are examples of ur life and not in everyones life... How can u say that if the husband wants to buy gold, he has to give money to his mom and ask her to get it for his wife... He cannot place the money on the wife's mom's hands... Why not?? Why cant he?? If he loves the wife's mom as his own mom, he will do it... He will not do it when he treats the wife's mom as an outsider... May be u will adjust and u will like it if ur husband does that.. I am sure many ladies in this forum itself would not like their hsuabnd giving money to his mom and getting his wife something(even if its a surprise)... Lastly, u have said from ur study u have come to the conclusion that the girl should be a good wife/DIL than a good daughter... May I know based on what u made this study?? Is it ur life?? Dont come to any conclusion or dont say this or that is best just based on ur life... Remember, I am a daughter first to my parents and only then a DIL... I cannot please my PILs all the time and ask my parents to get away(in ur langauage, control my parents)... I will never do that... Have u read all the problems ladies are facing each and everyday with their in-laws and u advice girls to be a good DIL than a daughter and ask them to control their parents?? It may all happen in ur life but not in many others' life.. Atleast for me, I will never accept whatever u said here...