I live in a joing family with my two toddlers(aged less than 4 years) and my DH. Family consists of my FIL, BIL and co-sister. Alls well except the fact that my BIL is constantly engaging in playfully spoiling my elder toddler, in the sense that he lets them eat chips, fried nuts,apart from using double meaning words (adult language). My DH and I have directly and indirectly tried to make him realise or warn him. But in vain. It lead to a big spat one day, where we were on the verge on separation, but my FIL settled the matter. It was under control for some days, and now again, when we started being so called normal, he started with his things again. We cant involve our aging FIL in these issues and also don't want to hurt BIL's sentiments, as he loves the toddlers, but somehow finds solace in pampering them and also publicly using dirty languages. He does everything for the toddlers, as they dont have any children and my toddlers are apple of their eyes. How do I take charge of this situation, I'm in a dilemmma, since BIL loves the kids but doent want to come to terms with the fact that he is hampering the kids innocence.
Repeatedly tell him to stop and restrict access to your children when he refuses to comply - take your kids away to another room. Take away the crisps before it reaches your kids. Just bear in mind that you and your husband are the parents and your rules need to stand for the children's wellbeing. It is irrelevant how much he loves your kids or whether he has kids of his own. If he cannot rein in, you take charge and ensure the kids don't get to spend time around him. I am particularly appalled by the double-entendre you have mentioned. Be extremely firm about this. Tell him calmly it is unacceptable directly everytime and move your kids away. Also tell him his behaviour stresses you put and you expect him to behave considerately towards you too. What you are asking for should not be something you fight for. It ought to be granted automatically to you. So remember it is basic human courtesywhich you must be accorded while you assert yourself.
