these desis

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by umasridharan, Aug 21, 2006.

  1. umasridharan

    umasridharan Senior IL'ite

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    You are a big time NRI if you strongly believe in the 10 sentences stated below...

    10. You think most Indian teenagers are pure and chaste.
    9. You think everyone in the world knows about the O.J. Simpson case.
    8. You can't believe the World Wide Web exists in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. You can't believe Delhi has had phone services like call waiting and the other fancy stuff you get here for the past three years and you can't believe there have been ATM(like MAC) machines in Indian cities for more than 7 years.
    7. You like Broccoli.
    6. You find cricket to be boring but watch golf, bowling or curling on TV.
    5. You express sarcasm with "Yeah, right."
    4. When you see anyone at all pass by you on the road, you greet them with a "Howz it goin", "Whassup" or "How you doin" and keep walking on.
    3. You say "interesting" when either you don't care or think it is weird.
    2. You refer to <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> as a Third World Country.
    1. You so far understood, enjoyed and could relate to every joke in the page

    You may be a Desi if...


    1. You ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.
    2. You know more than one plan offered by long distance companies.
    3. You take plain water instead of Coke for lunch. (may also be a health nut)
    4. You take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice.
    5. You ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?".
    6. You try to ignore all other unknown desi's around you.
    7. You tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite them to an Amway meeting
    8. You know all the facilities available at public library.
    9. You talk to americans as if you represent your whole country.
    10. Your stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.
    11. You frequent to yard sales every week.
    12. You find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
    13. Your dinner involves spreading newspaper on the living room floor.
    14. You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
    15. You like onion rings at Burger King.
    16. You are looking for dual voltage appliances.
    17. The phrase "When are you going to <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>" comes into your conversation at least once a day.
    18. You bought <st1:City><st1:place>Toyota</st1:place></st1:City> or Honda car only because it has better resale value.
    19. The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
    20. You keep switching your internet service provider because the first month is free.
    21. You go back to your apartment for lunch.
    22. Your full name contains more than 15 characters.
    23. You know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
    24. The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
    25. You have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.
    26. You don't know any American outside your work.
    27. You tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking operator at AT&T.
    28. You have at least one <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
    29. You know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.
    30. You run to Laundromat in your lungi.
    31. You put oil in your hair.
    32. You have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.
    33. This thought comes to you "Oh **** I just saw another desi" when you are window shopping at the mall.
    34. You keep comparing prices at circuit city for the phone you bought six months ago.
    35. The lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.
    36. You are compelled to visit ever major city in the <st1:country-region><st1:place>US</st1:place></st1:country-region>, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there"
    37. You are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.
    38. You have been to <st1:country-region><st1:place>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region> or <st1:country-region><st1:place>Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region> for multiple entry H1 Visa.
    39. You pay your bills the day they come in mail.
    40. You spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from landlord.
    41. You have a bucket in your bath tub.
    42. You have to borrow luggage from friends for an <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> visit.
    43. The smoke detector goes off whenever you are cooking dinner.
    44. You know which grocery store keeps coriander.
    45. You buy butter milk before you run out of it.
    46. You use grocery bags as garbage bags.
    47. You say 'Damn I have already seen this show" whenever you are watching Married With Children.
    48. You buy rice in the 20 pound bags.
    49. Office supplies mysteriously find their way into your house.
    50. You don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.
    51. You have postponed buying that answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has a built answering machine.
    52. Your idea of fun involves bowling.
    53. You starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy, T as in train...well you get the idea.
    54. You ask another desi if he/she ever got a traffic ticket.
    55. You haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your friends wife.
    56. You bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>.
    57. You decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even meeting her.
    58. You know the current differential in gold prices between <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> and US.
    59. You smell like a curry.
    60. You go to a temple to pick up a women.
    61. You have worked illegally in a Guju's motel.
    62. You mark your forehead with scared ash.
    63. You have a bought a video camera just before <st1:place>Niagara</st1:place> trip and returned it after the trip.
    64. You wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.
    65. You have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom.
    65. You have taken pictures of your car and mailed it to your folks back home.
    67. You use the credit card with maximum cash back.
    68. You have collected enough frequent flier miles for an international trip.
    69. You are saving more that 30% of your salary.
    70. You have never asked a girl out. (you might just be plain ugly too)
    71. You've bookmarked immigration web pages in your browser.
    72. You know your friends salaries!
    73. You tried to talk in a phony accent with the freshie in the school.
    74. You have asked a PhD student for a ride to grocery store.
    75. There are more that 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.
    76. You have cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.
    77. You spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.
    78. You split even the tax out of your common grocery bill.
    79. You complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>.
    80. You take 4 week long vacation.
    81. You are the first to know about any on campus job openings at the school library/cafeteria/computer center.
    :-D
     
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