1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

The Wearer knows wear the shoe pinches

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Jun 28, 2009.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Jun 28, 2009 #1
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,597
    Likes Received:
    28,768
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    It is better to light a candle that criticize the darkness

    It is easy to criticize others but when we go through the same situation then only we realise that it was wrong on our part to criticize the other person.

    During my daughter’s marriage one of our close relatitve was saying why you have not arranged the marriage through caterer, then noone has to work so much, everything the caterer will look after. My husband is very economic and does not like to spend money unnecessarily for marriages,
    as he feels it is hard earned money and we should keep something for future. He says instead of spending the money on caterers, it is better to buy everything ourselves and give the money only for cooking. His friends volunteered to serve and whatever help they can do during marriage. My husband gave his friends Dhothi as a token of love . He was saying the money which we give to the caterer we can give to our daughter so that she can put in Fixed deposit and use for her children’s education.

    The same relative when her daughter’s marriage came booked an air conditioned hall with many rooms and four floors for the two days marriage. They arranged for caterer also. The marriage was a grand one no doubt. But lot of money was spent for the hall, caterer, decorations etc.
    The arrangements were made by their daughters. In marriages the youngsters can tell their views for everything but elders should not leave everything to the youngsters. If elders arrange they will know where to spend money and where not to spend. So they spent a lot for the marriage. It was not difficult to spend money for the marriage as their daughters are earning well and holding high posts. Though they had kept caterer, their daughter had to run behind them during marriage and she could not take part in the marriage.
    So before commenting anything to others we should be very careful. The wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

    After the marriage the girl’s father was saying unnecessarily we spent lot of money , now next marriage I will do it in a simple way and if possible keep it in my native place.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2009
    iyerviji, Jun 28, 2009
    iyerviji, Jun 28, 2009
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. iyerviji

      The wearer knows where the show pinches

      iyerviji, Dec 15, 2011, in forum: Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)
      Replies:
      2
      Views:
      761
      iyerviji
      Dec 15, 2011
    2. SujathaR

      17 Hacks Every Bra Wearer Should Know

      SujathaR, Apr 7, 2015, in forum: Clothing & Apparels
      Replies:
      18
      Views:
      4,089
      jsree2007
      Jan 24, 2017
    3. gknew

      Eye Issue. Anyone Knows About Floaters?

      gknew, Oct 17, 2023, in forum: Health Issues
      Replies:
      4
      Views:
      792
      Neelima01
      Dec 1, 2023
  2. Jun 28, 2009 #2
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,818
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Viji,

    Well said.Yes money should eb saved during wedding, glad yur husband had friends who pitched in.

    The problem is Viji, these days everyone is busy.So suppose i have 20 friends pitchign in, that means when the marriage takes place in those 20 friends houses, i too will have topitch in my time and efforts, which i may or may not be able to spare.Jobs are scarce these days, and u just cant take offs.

    So it is a difficult choice to say, what is goood and what is bad.See caterers too hav e different rates, ranging from 250 a plate to 2000 and upwards.

    when u go for the high end catering of this 1000 or 2000, that i feel is a waste, as how much can a person eat ?

    If u have good friends, who can pitch in, and if u can pitch in too when it is yr tiem to help, then self made food is good.

    But if u are a busy executive, then the catering is good enough, but on a modest budget.

    And i agree with u, that dont criticize, if u are going to do the opposite of what u give advise on.

    Well said Viji,.God bless u, and i am honoured to give my first comments to this lovely blog.

    Regards

    kamal
     
    Kamalji, Jun 28, 2009
    Kamalji, Jun 28, 2009
    #2
  3. Jun 28, 2009 #3
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,597
    Likes Received:
    28,768
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Kamalji

    I am blessed to get the first fb from you. Those who have money no problem for them to spend. I was hurt because they told me you should have arranged for a caterer. Not only that she said that we are troubling the relatives to help us in serving etc. Actually our relatives always help us in serving and they are ready to do any work. For them it is a pleasure tohelp us.

    It is each one's choice of arranging forthe marriage. My husband feels instead of spending the money oncatering we can give to our daughter for future use. When they conducted the marriage and spent money then they knew the loss. For them it was ok as their daughters are well off.

    Thanks once again Kamalji for giving me your valuable fb.

    Regards
    viji



     
    iyerviji, Jun 28, 2009
    iyerviji, Jun 28, 2009
    #3
  4. Jun 28, 2009 #4
    Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,795
    Likes Received:
    1,177
    Trophy Points:
    345
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear viji,
    I agree with you, When we are doing all arrangements we can save money. but when there is no manpower to do all the things, and when we have to look after everything, it becomes difficult. So , i feel no harm in going for the caters.But we should give the responsibility to the caters
    who charge nominally and also do their work efficiently.In that case our burden becomes less. Spending lavishly on marriage is not sensible.
    with love
    pad
     
    Padmini, Jun 28, 2009
    Padmini, Jun 28, 2009
    #4
  5. Jun 28, 2009 #5
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,659
    Likes Received:
    27,218
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    <style></style>Vijiaunty,

    There is a saying in tamil, that says thalai vazhiyum, thirugu vazhiyum thanakku vandhaal thaan theriyum...(loosely translated, the pain of a headache is known only if one experiences it)..

    So be it marriage expenses or household expenses or any other decision, it is ultimately the person who decides/spends who has to face the tune/result of it...

    As Kamalji says people do not have the time to pitch in.. but i would definitely say, that does not give us the excuse to spend lavishly..being sensible in spending and giving the amount that could be saved to the newlyweds is the best thing..

    Good one...
     
    Shanvy, Jun 28, 2009
    Shanvy, Jun 28, 2009
    #5
  6. Jun 28, 2009 #6
    rajiravi

    rajiravi Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    979
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear viji aunty,

    Nice post and really its very true....I fully agree with your DH...spending lavishly for the marriages is really a waste....instead that can be given to the girl as money or kind, which she can use it on needy hours.....it is very easy to comment on others, but when it comes to them only they will know the pain.....people, if not encourage, atleast should try not to discourage others.....good one aunty.
     
    rajiravi, Jun 28, 2009
    rajiravi, Jun 28, 2009
    #6
  7. Jun 28, 2009 #7
    Padmasrinivas

    Padmasrinivas Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,940
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    85
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji,

    A very good point raised by you...enjoyed your writing...

    I have seen both types of cases. It is definitely more economical to take care of all the arrangements personally but this may not be so practical, unless we have a big family and many friends to help follow up all activities smoothly.

    Caterers usually charge for a package deal and take care of everything from the garlands, all the requisites for the various religious rites, right down to the thamboolam bags.

    These days, weddings are becoming more lavish with huge arches made of fresh flowers at the entrance, a big fountain spraying perfumed water as we enter the hall, huge backdrop made of exotic flowers on the stage... all this expense (and waste, in my opinion) for just the one and and a half days of ceremonies... not to mention the elaborate menu for the three meals, so many sweet dishes and so much of food wasted...

    My advice to people is to invite only close family and the inner-circle of friends for the main ceremonies and have a reception-dinner for the larger circle of friends and business/office/college colleagues etc.

    As you say, the money saved can be invested for the bride's future!

    Good post, Viji dear. Keep them coming...

    LnBBHs,
    Padma
     
    Padmasrinivas, Jun 28, 2009
    Padmasrinivas, Jun 28, 2009
    #7
  8. Jun 29, 2009 #8
    Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,346
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    dear viji,

    haha how true..so easy to criticize others..help if u can otherwise just shut up should be the policy..but then the world will be just a lovely place..:)

    i was amused by the last lines said by your relative
     
    Mindian, Jun 29, 2009
    Mindian, Jun 29, 2009
    #8
  9. Jun 29, 2009 #9
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,597
    Likes Received:
    28,768
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Padmini

    You are right when we dont have manpower we can give to the caterers but should give to the caterer who charges nominally.

    love
    viji





     
    iyerviji, Jun 29, 2009
    iyerviji, Jun 29, 2009
    #9
  10. Jun 29, 2009 #10
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,597
    Likes Received:
    28,768
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Shanti

    Nice to see you here. Your pazamozhi is also right. You are also right in saying that instead of spending lavishly we can give that amount to the newly weds. Thanks for the feedback.

    love
    viji


     
    iyerviji, Jun 29, 2009
    iyerviji, Jun 29, 2009
    #10
Page 1 of 2

Share This Page