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The Other Side Of The Coin

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jayasala42, Mar 22, 2019.

  1. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Problems in seemingly patriarchal society are more complicated than we think.
    It has been both an emotional and Social Issue that matrimonial related
    offences against women, more so harassing the brides and subjecting them
    to cruelty, both physical and mental and in the extreme cases causing death.

    This has resulted in the introduction of Section 498 A to deal with matters
    of crimes against women be covered under the newly added provision under the
    IPC. Besides the onus of proof has been shifted from the Prosecution to the accused and
    the unrestrained power of the Police to arrest those accused, the offence being
    cognizable and non bailable.

    Section 304 B has been dove tailed to that omnibus clause that any death of women
    within 7 years of marriage, under suspicious circumstances made the husband
    guilty of murder unless proved otherwise.
    These oppressive provisions made life in matrimony suspicious and the harmony
    in the relationship is lost for ever.
    These provisions over the period tend to be misused and used as a weapon against
    not only the husband but other relatives too in settling personal quarrel, nothing to do
    with dowry and where there was not even traces of cruelty at all.
    Even aged, sick, bed ridden relatives, parents were incarcerated at the sweet will of the
    women and her parents.
    The non bailable clause caused such an untold misery crying for some more attention on this
    aspect by the Courts and to rein and restrain the Police.
    Ultimately if the crime alleged is proved to be baseless and wrong those who took advantage
    of the provisions of Law walked Scot free though such offences attracted perjury and needed
    punishment.
    Even the Supreme Court having been conscious of the misuse and exploitation, expressed their
    helplessness to put a lid on the false cases by imposing some deterrent punishment.
    By the time the Supreme Court realized the folly much water had flown under the Ganges.


    The Court, based on the various Law Commission recommendations issued guidelines for
    arrest under S.498 A and recommended constitution of Family Welfare Committee and cases
    of complaints were required to be acted only after sanction from the Committee.
    Investigation Officers were appointed and unless and until they are convinced and satisfied
    no arrest should take place.
    They were directed to conduct themselves with reason and not blinded by the
    cooked up charges.
    These intervention from the Apex Court made the guardian angels of Women Protection
    raise hue and cry and they appealed to the Court not to dilute the provisions under 498 A and
    304 B.
    Now days both husband or his parents, why any relative should be worried about the
    ever hanging penal provisions and be ready to be hauled to the Local Police Station in the
    hands of the sadistic worst Women Police Force while arranging marriage for their Boys.
    Somebody said Law is Blind.
    But in reality it is an Ass too.
    What's the meaning of the phrase 'The law is an ass'?
    Said of the application of the law that is contrary to common sense.

    What's the origin of the phrase 'The law is an ass'?
    This proverbial expression is of English origin and the ass being referred to here is the English colloquial name for a donkey, not the American 'ass', which we will leave behind us at this point. Donkeys have a, somewhat unjustified, reputation for obstinance and stupidity that has given us the adjective 'asinine'. It is the stupidly rigid application of the law that this phrase calls into question.


    I have associated myself with the legal wing of the All India Democratic Women's Association for nearly 15 years.
    While it cannot be denied that the harassment of girls by MIL and husband continues in a few places,
    harassment of bridegrooms and their relatives is far more serious than the harassment faced by women. It results in dismissal of men from their jobs and arrest of his old parents and innocent married sister unconnected with any such event, residing 1000 miles apart.
    We had to act sometimes against our conscience when we were forced to support women.I felt very sad when a boy working as officer in Accountant General's office was about to be dismissed because of a foisted case by the girl's influential brothers.I had to struggle hard ,brought the couple to our house,made them relax, explained the negatives of the resultant divorce.At last the girl was convinced, marriage was saved.Now their daughter is in the college.Initially the girl's brothers were very much angry with me;later realised and repented.
    சமீபத்தில் ஒரு whatsapp மெசேஜ் வந்தது.
    ('தேடி பார்க்கிறேன்
    உன்னையும் என்னையும்'.
    பிடிக்காமல் போய்விட்டது என வருத்தப் படுவதை விட,புரிந்து கொள்ளாமல் போய் விட்டோமே என்ற
    வலி தான் என் மனதில் ஆறாத ரணமாக உள்ளது.
    " I am searching for you in me. More than the fact that we didn't like each other, the fact that we never tried to understand each other ,is ever a raw wound in me")

    This, I know ,will be reverberating in the minds of many separated couples.
    An injury that stands for life.
    Jayasala 42


     
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  2. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    I know that girls would rather not marry the eldest son, lest she be foisted with the company of in-laws, as well as the care of the aged in-laws in their old age. Or.. marry someone with the responsibility of his sisters' marriages that are yet to come.

    I wonder if well-employed "boys" ( such as the officer in AG's Office ) shun too many potential brother-in-laws who are "influential" or brimming with jugaad, and can get things done -- for the good, and especially for the bad and the ugly. And avoid marrying girls with such possibilities ?

    Your story is indeed a parable !!
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    21 lives lost to dowry every day across India; conviction rate less than 35 per cent
    21 women are killed everyday for dowry still.

    Misuse of laws is reprehensible not just because it causes misery to innocent people but it also causes problems for the real dowry victims.
    Besides it delays justice to the real victims.

    The laws have been changed sufficently to prevent false cases without taking away the law because dowry and harrassement of brides is a really big problem even now. So we should all be thankful for the laws that had to be brought in because the cruelty of the girl's in laws seem to have no limits.

    Burning alive to beating to death are such regular news items that they don't even make headlines any longer.
    The lives of girls is still very cheap in this country.

    While we should be ashamed that such laws are needed to save women from what is supposed to be her family....we should atleast be thankful we have these laws.

    The loopholes to misuse need to be plugged efficiently.More changes should be made if required but without diluting the intent of the law.

    In order to prevent dowrydeaths, cases should be fast tracked and capital punishment should be enforced because this is a murder most vile.
    Getting someone's daughter home to marry their son and serve them and then kill her if their demands are not met . Murder,fraud,torture,extortion...you name it,it is all involved.

    As for section 304B....it comes into effect when a woman is dead within 7years of marriage.
    If a woman is dead...how does it bring suspicions into the marriage?Which marriage?
    Howd does the law effect the marriage of' alive 'women because the law will not come into effect if she is alive?How is the harmony of the matrimony effected if she is not even alive?

    In a country where girls are killed in the womb,on birth and after marriage for dowry or other reason, in abundance...is it too much to to investigate her death.
    A young ,heathy woman is dead...does she not deserve this much!!!

    May be when we become a much more civil and decent nation for women,then these acts will look unnecessary...but for now this is the least we can do to save the young women.


    This statement in bold sums up the intent of the write up.

    It is sad to read such write ups in a forum meant for women.
    Every now and then such articles are posted while we see very few posted about the women who have been burnt to death. It seems dying is easier .
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
  4. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    @yellowmango
    a few years ago, I was drawn into a conversation with a bunch of desi girls (in an amreeki gathering) and they had asked me about this home/kitchen accidents where women are killed, by sarees spontaneously catching fire, and nobody gets to go to jail. I told them that such things are economic-class dependent happenings. In middle class families, there are usually no killings, but lots of mental torture, and abuse. Real, as well as contrived for the sake of legal action under that 498A.

    I've always found that explaining India to foreign born children is a lot tougher than explaining where babies come from. :blush:
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    In the lower and middle class,the woman is generally considered a burden and once married ,her problems are ignored. Often she is told to adjust to the monsters and once she is dead,the family beats the chest and calls the police because there is now no danger of the daughter coming back to become a burden.

    In the upper class,a daughter s atleast not an economic burden so gets a better treatment .

    But that does not really mean upper class treats women better.
    The last gender count showed the gender ratio as more skewd in the upper middle class .They have more resouces to get the scans and abortion done compared to the lower class.....because the scans and abortion are illegal.. ..it involves a lot of under the table payments.
     
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    jayasala42, :-"While it cannot be denied that the harassment of girls by MIL and husband continues in a few places,
    harassment of bridegrooms and their relatives is far more serious than the harassment faced by women. "

    Nothing wrong in speaking about issues faced by men, but we should not belittle the struggles and pain experienced by women either.
     
  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Sometimes truths are stranger than fiction.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  8. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Madam,
    When cases do come up, there are always two sides.I don't understand the agony of the responder as to why such articles supporting men are posted.When we talk of reality, we have to admit the truth on both the sides.When there is crisis, everybody suffers.On many occasions old men and women above 75 are tortured .Mothers and sisters also are women and they lose all the peace of mind because of the fake cases.It is a hard core sad reality.
    I myself have written about 'outburst of female foetus' in journals and how from cradle to coffin a girl suffers.when we talk of such things, it is also essential that we don't think that men have a rosy picture all the time.In middle class families, to which, I think many of the members belong, the position is real and there is no exaggeration about this.
    I am not aware of any regulation prohibiting members writing in support of men, who also need some support.
    Yes, laws are needed to protect women.I also understand the circumstances under which penal clauses were introduced.While it is absolutely necessary to protect women from the torture, that does not mean that men can be put to any torture.In the eyes of law justice should prevail and should be given both to men and women.
    Having crossed 77, I have been a witness to all types of cases in real life situations.
    Jayasala 42
     
  9. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Not alt all madam, in the same forum and in many outside journals both in tamil, i have discussed about the crisis faced by women at large.there is other side of the coin too, which we can't ignore.
    jayasala 42
     
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  10. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    @jayasala42
    Madam, I am not tracking your profile/posts or blaming you for not posting about women otherwise, I was simply talking about your comparison "far more serious than"..
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019

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