The basic character of an Indian Husband.... What is acceptable and what is not?

I feel a husband should be understanding, caring and must respect his wife rather than listening to his mom's words. Most of the Indian husbands (as we see a lot in l itself) seems to be over secured of their parents, siblings and they let go off their wives. And some men, give more importance to their wives and leave their parents on streets..

In short, A man must know how to balance his mother and his wife! If he masters that, then he is a REAL HERO!!

 

Its hard to find such a man who balances between mother and wife bcoz either one will blackmail him emotionally :rotfl

Real heroes are only in cartoons bcoz they dont have either one.

 

Hi Tugga,

That is a light thread to read. I'd have rephrased the question as "What qualities would you DERISE your perfect man to have"...Cos I know I desire loads, only reality is THAT MAN might not exist..lol :spin
And when I do stress that he (the one I'm with now) should have those in him, he's going to start arguing as to why not otherwise..lol That is one quality I could live without.. NOT TO BE ABLE TO SAY NO TO ME..lol :rant

PS. I read this in FML. It was posted by a rather frustrated woman from what I could see..

I JUST REALISED, THE MAN I AM WITH, THE ONE I WANT TO BE WITH AND THE ONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH ME ARE THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE..LOL :rotfl:hide:

 

LOL!!! Now that is Impossible..

 

Tugga, from my young age i dreamt of a hubby who would love me a lot and be my best friend and the one who is intelligent. Intelligent here means good education and one who knows who to make 100 rs out of 1 rs and not one who make 1 rs out of 100 rs and also one who would hear everyone's suggestion patiently but ultimately he needs to decide what suggestion to take and what not to take, one who can make his own decision. This also includes relationships..

Believe me or not...god blessed me exactly what i wished for or more than that and i fell in love and got married to one who has all the qualities i wished for and also as a bonus i got a very handsome hubby who loves me and looks after my needs like a father, who looks after me and care for me like a mother and be with me in my joy and sorrow like a friend and also grant almost all wishes like a god...

At my young age i craved for a good friend but dint have any friends whom i can call my best...atlast i hv my hubby and no one can fill his position...

 

Ya but Lucky I am I found such a single husband 95% perfect Not a bad right?

 

Then I must say, my DH is a HERO . Before marriage itself he told, I am ready to make adjustments for you, but only one thing is I don't want those fights between you and my parents. Just make that happen and save me, then I thought - oh looks like I have to manage such situations. But after marriage, he was there between most of the differences I had with MIL and gives a solution to which both of us "should" agree. Later on he comes to me and explains things and then explains my MIL the same way as he did, but briefly . That's it. Ofcourse me and MIL also not that stubborn its both of our love towards him which makes us happy to adjust, may be.

How ever the qualities of husband I looked for were - handsome(to me), earning(atleast to a moderate level), good family, caring and romantic. So my desire was "littlebit of everything )

 

Hi Tugga,
A husband according to me is a person who makes decisions centered on his family only(wife and kids) and not decision inspired by his extended family(parents and siblings) which can only lead to wife being treated as a door mat, unfortunately this happens in most of the cases with indian families.
A man should have is own mind with strong family centered values. (which is rare to find). If you can find one you are blessed or at least you should be able to cultivate the ability to teach him that with patience and time.

P.S. - I have been a silent reader of u r posts, u are a very strong person I really admire your strength and patience. But be ready to be more stronger.

Ballareena

 

It was really nice to read all the nicer posts here..Now I am tempted to post again..

What I'd expect in my perfect husband - to treat me as an equal and give me my own space. And I SHOULD reciprocate it to see his continued commitment to me.

Yes, we have our loads of problems. Yes, we say stuff and ruin each other's days. But in the end I know, I could not have run as many years along him if he had't implemented it for at least half our time together.
I truly thank God for this life...the extra trouble is the perk to make it more interesting. So I'll bear them.

 

Hehe good one...
My ideal husband was one who would know Urdu and sing all those beautiful songs to me...I ended up with a chap who can speak nothing but English and has no ear for languages! But boy, does he clean the house to my standards or what? I google the translations