Suggestion To Leave Us For Delivery

Op, Consult an attorney for best suggestion. Do you live in a big city like LA, NY, NJ. If you do then hire lots of help and see if you can deliver here. Otherwise look into easiest way you can bring your kid back with you . Attorneys will be able to help you the best here.Congrats .Good Luck.

 

Do you really want to go through all the additional stress of green card for the baby etc etc? You can either put up with the IL's or try to manage on your own with husband's help. My siblings delivered their babies with no help from the parents , just them and their spouses. It's actually a good bonding opportunity as a family. Ofcourse it depends on your husband and how open he is to helping out. The only help that parents could provide is with cooking food etc, but you can have someone deliver food for the first few days ( or prepare and freeze well in advance).
Congratulations and best wishes !!

 

Are you sure that you are ready to spend more than six month or more in India for delivery. If so you have to leave US before you reach 28th week.Also you have to wait in India for passport, green card etc.. for many months...so check all the processing time. Etc

In my own experience( both kids born here, managed alone with the help of dh), it is better to stay in Us for delivery. There is a great chance that it end up in normal delivery also the hospital treat you well. In usa you have a system that help you to manage with little help. Both of you can manage it...Also it will help your dh to bond you and baby well.. he should be ready to help.
One concern may be about food . You can order from outside or teach your dh to cook simple healthy items. In my case friends also brought food.. later, after two to three weeks, I tried cooking with the help of dh. ..I prepared some dishes before due date and kept in freezer, too. In indian store you get many things. Use ricecooker ...dont worry about kitchen much.. let your dh manage it ...give him a chance ..☺. Plan this part well.

If your parents or ils are healthy and do everything them selves, it may help. Still, it take time for them to familiarize here.Only then it is of any use. Else you will end up cooking,taking care of you, baby every one by yourself. It will be too much.. I have seen that with many ladies here. My ils joined me after 4 month of delivery, even though they were of great help with baby, I end up doing more cooking etc to make sure they are ok here... It was too much for me with my eesk body, job etc..I felt like I would have managed alone than this set up. Daycare here will take babies even when they are below two months, just mentioned if you need that info

So it is easy to manage alone in Us with the help of your dh... that is easy for you, in my own experience.

After delivery you take nearly three months to get social security number, birth certificates, passports etc. You can apply for visa or pio card for your baby. May be then you can go India and stay there for long. When you return may be you can take your parents along with you.

Anyway think about all and chose one that is the best for YOU, because you are the one who is going to be affected more than any one during this event ..

 

Women all over the world are having babies with little or no support . It's just in our culture that we expect all the help from aging parents or ILs. If you need help , be prepared for issues to crop up and you may have to swallow your pride for the time being . It's only the 6- 8 weeks post partum that you need to recover so maybe you can manage to put up with ILs.

Why go through all the stress of moving and citizenship issues for the baby ? If you don't want ILs, get help from DH or hire some help here . Also, labor and delivery here is such a wonderful experience. Everything is so damn perfect in the delivery/ post partum room . You may not have the same experience in India . I have personally seen how nurses and doctors treat women in maternity wards in India so you are better off delivering here .

 

Hi

Congrats!!!! Dont stress out much.. I can understand ur position .. As other IL frnds suggested Its not wise to go to India for delivery.. Else u can Plan to go to India after child birth ..may be after 8-12 weeks as per ur doc's suggestion... or as soon as u arrange passport for the kid.. Since ur in Green card its going to little hard or long wait to get green card to ur child or the process is going to be more complicated i guess(Im not sure how this process is going to be regarding Visa) .. If u hv child here in US .. no need to stress out for anything.. If ur husband is supportive be open to him saying that u dont need ur In-laws here for delivery.. Its not that hard to manage to alone..

 

True

 

I know my sis friend. Her husband wanted to bring his parents for her delivery. And he also said her parents should not come first to USA for this. She got hurt and she decided not to bring anyone for this purpose. She herself managed everything even some things without her husband and drove to hospital herself after her labour started. She delivered a healthy baby. So relax and you can also manage alone. Have a strong determination. If u come to India all GC processing problems will be there. So think twice before u land in here. All the best.

 

If I am getting this right, OP is more worried about the ILs being here.As everyone has already pointed out,it's not that difficult to manage on your own, be it a normal or c section delivery.Also, as already said above , the hospital experience is good here too.
You should tell your H that you can manage very well on your own. You don't need parents from either side since it's the first baby ( it is the first , right .Assuming coz you haven't mentioned otherwise). May be next time you can have parents /ILs over when there will be 2 to manage.
If he doesn't budge and simply wants his parents here, try that they are here for as minimum time as possible , maybe 2 months instead of 4 or 6.
What I feel is that we as women feel more comfortable with our moms near us during this time. I had the same situation. My Mom couldn't come and my MIL was more than enthusiastic to be here.So I couldn't stop her from coming .But I didn't need her help that much.The newborn keeps sleeping most of the time.And cooking isn't that difficult too.And she couldn't help me with things I needed help for anyways. I ended up calling my Mom for my queries.My Husband himself said to me later that it would have been better if my Mom was here instead coz I needed her more for emotional support etc.
But you can't do much if your H is adamant. The only thing you can do is show him your confidence that you both will be fine on your own.And that you can visit grandparents on both sides later when the baby is a little older.
And if still that doesn't work, don't worry. Be open in your heart towards them. Just think that your H will get to stay with his parents and they too will enjoy a change of place. That's what I did