Back story quick version: I moved to The States in my teens. I have always been a person of few but close friends. Anyone that would qualify as friend lived in different state or country all my life, safe to say I was a loner but eventually grew to liking it. Ended up taking on some traveling, decent corporate job, solo trips to the movie theater. Life was good. THEN I decided I should try out this dating/marriage thing. First time I brought up a guy's name (suggested by a friend I should consider talking to him ( he was from different caste)) to my mom she down right didn't even care to hear it just said "talk to your dad about it". Wasn't even like I was dating him or hell even talked to him, I was basically asking thoughts on dating/caste and all that so I know where the family stood. Well that didn't work out and I am like hell if my mom is not giving me an answer screw it, no point in asking dad. So fast forward to signing up on a matrimonial site. I ended up finding a guy who's family/caste all that would never be questioned because it checked all the "ideal" boxes I knew my family would NEVER question even if it wasn't discussed. I started talking to him than he decided to come meet me so I told my dad about him, dad initially excited said they also want to meet him.He came we met, we decided walking out of the airport that this was it, we liked each other and there was no turning back. He meets the family, everyone likes each other and it's a done deal. (his family lived in india). So his mom decided we needed to get married ASAP because his legal status was expiring soon. So because everyone said yes we decided to do that in less than a month of meeting each other. The day before my marriage less than 12 hrs I find out he is a smoker. I (never having been around one didn't realize the intensity of it). Than as days went on after our marriage I started seeing his habit come out more and more. Months passed and I realized he is also a big time drinker. Within first 3 months of being married he made new friends and was out till 3 AM (8+ hrs) socializing and wouldn't come home until I called multiple times. Then he came home completely drunk. I informed his sibling of it, she basically remanded him. Then I realize his drinking episodes started increasing, at one point made it to my parents who decided they want to call off this marriage but I explained to them to give him chance to change. So he promises my dad he will never drink or smoke. ( I knew he was secretly doing it but could never prove it because I had no access to his bank details). Than more smoking/drinking episodes came about. Again same promises. Then found out he had secretly taken money from someone and never told me, again got scot free with a sorry. Then again more drunk episodes and finally we merged our bank accounts and in about a month of doing so I found proofs that he had been buying cigarettes everyday. So than I told his family I am tired of his lies, tired of his habits and no longer wish to be with him. Because I had warned him so many times to just be honest with me and also I will be very supportive of him medically if he truly wanted to quit. But he turned it all down, so I took that as no intention of wanting to change. His mom is literally telling me she knew all along her sons habits. But now my family and his family are like give him a chance. Let him change. His family said give him x amount of time to change, and after that if he pursues all this then come to us with proof then and we will talk. I told my parents and his parents next time I will literally sign the divorce papers. His sorry statement was "I promise I will never lie to you and I have to smoke some(x amount) to give it up completely....BUT I will give up drinking completely from now" . IDK if he drinks or not but he smokes more than the X amount he himself decided, is continuing to lie to me. ( he thinks I don't know but I do I just don't say it now). Now the problem is life has come to a point where I feel like I am stuck in this marriage, and I am certain he feels the same. we live under the same roof but exchange less than 50 words a day. It's come down to talk about "whats for dinner" MAYBE on occasions whats on tv, and perhaps 10% of if something is happening on his side of the family. It seems like both of us are stuck in this but seem to have no way out and I seriously just want him to have his life as he chooses, continue on with his life with/without his habits but not with me. I seriously feel like I am suffocating with a liar and have given him enough chances to change. I can't stand to even sleep next to him. But if I give him the divorce now everyone's seems like they would be blaming me for not wanting to give him chance so decided to give him this chance with my heart set he is not going to change but at least give him the time frame they asked. But he has gotten 4 chances and additionally a lot of this is stuff I found out after we got married. So I seriously need some input on what direction I should go in.