OP, Just sharing my thoughts. I have asked a question myself- I was happy & vibrant before marriage, then why I became unhappy and sensitive after marriage. Even one day of silent mode behavior from dh for whatever reasons made me upset.I didn't know what silent mode is before marriage. It took me time to understand this. Before marriage I was the center of my universe, all others were part of my universe or some thing outside. But after marriage, may be due to traditional background, I made my dh as the center of my universe, but he was still center of his universe. So all his actions/reactions had an effect on me. In short I was linking my happiness to him. Actually I should be the center of my universe, even he or kids or any body should be the part of it. This realization helped me to come out of that dilemma. In a happy marriage, both these universe should merge and there should be one soul and mind, if its not happening, its safe to be center your own universe. That gives one lot of power. I allowed myself to be a victim of my own dependence on him emotionally. When I gain independence, I became less affected by his behavior. But I communicate to him very well if I want to or stop him here right there if he try to sit on my head. If he demand/order me to do something, I wont do. If he needs something , he has to ask in the right way, not in any way disrespecting me. I don't know if it work for others. But it gives me peace of mind. Your self esteem and self-respect is very important. Once you have it you will be a self-confident and assertive person. But one have to stop worrying about what others think of me or stop worrying about pleasing others. You dont need anybody's certificate to be who you are as long you have strong conviction about your own decisions.. When you stop constantly worrying about your emotionally distant husband and start focusing on yourself you will feel more in control of your life. He will be taken aback by your new behavior and, if he values your marriage, he will change his behavior. Marriage works only when both of you work. You already chased him enough, stop doing that. Be yourself. You don't have to change who you are to please him. If he want you he need to accept you as a whole package. If he change his attitude, then you can re-evaluate the marriage and can determine whether he is willing to work on the marriage alongside you or if other action needs to be taken. Stop begging for his time or attention. If you know that its not going to happen, why bother it. If he is not ready to work on marriage why you should work on it all the time. If he comes to you and you want sex, only then do it. Same way, if you like it enjoy all opportunities. If you want to hug, or kiss, do it for you. Its up to you to decide. When his Parents are home, his emotional needs are satisfied I think, he is getting everything except sex. Once they leave he knows that you are there to satisfy him in all ways. But you will get an opportunity to show him you lack of emotional dependence on him when they leave. Then show him what its to be like emotionally abandoned. Avoid him. Give him the same pinch instead of chasing him all the time. Let him chase you. Do minimum service that time. But you need to find ways to be happy yourself. If he comes back then tell him this is exactly what he was doing. I don't know how easy to find a job or even volunteering activities, try to find it and have a life outside your home, that will reduce your emotional or financial dependence on him. Its not easy to change someone until they want to. Stop trying to change him, instead try to change your response and behavior. May be that will him convince the need to change himself. [Sweet making episode - This is what I do, I am not sure if it work for you First of all I don't prepare a dish when we have already planned to go some where. If you decided to prepare stick on with it. Even if they create a hell, relax, stay cool, act as deaf, finish the dish and go. If you want to tell to MIL.. mom can you help dd to get ready, can you give milk by the time I will finish. or ask your dh to help dd ... if you want to go that fast , you all go , I will stay here, whatever you want. But dont stop it even if they make any noise. If you continue this way, after sometime, they will realize, raising voice not work on you. Stick with your plans and dont change it for others if its not necessary to do so. If they ask you politely, then do. If not, don't even listen to it. "And to that, H. pushed away the toy saying fine I wont do this, you don't want me to setup the toy (which his parents had got for LO)" He can wait.. why he did that when they have plans to go. So its double standard. He can do anything last minute, but you cannot. You just ignore it or tell him, if that what he wants to think he can think that way, you dont care. MIL & kitchen - When she is in kitchen, leave kitchen to her, dont go there to take her orders. Just ask her if she need any help,if she say not, then retreat you room and enjoy. Go to kitchen if you want to do something. May be you can hint her that your dh neglect you when parents are there, but in a funny and careful way. Only you knows if it work or not. ] OP, I dont think its easy to change an adult. Accept him for what he is. But change yourself. If he want you he will come to you. Any amount of advice is not going to work, if you cannot take your life into your hands. Control what you can, don't worry about others. It is a good change that you were less affected by sweet making episode. That's a good start. Find ways to empower yourself. Take baby steps. If you want to stay in this marriage, you need to find ways to be in & be happy. If not ,take a break, go to India and think about your options.