1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Stressful Life With Sil. Please Help

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by asha3, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. asha3

    asha3 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    My SIL is staying with her family at Bangalore and we (me and DH) lives at Hyderabad. But I feel like she is with us in our house all the time, that much she involves in all our personal matters no matter what others thinks. It has been 2.6 years of our marriage and now we are planning for kids. The same my DH revealed her in a friendly way we may tell the good news very soon. From then the Drama starts, with DH she tells like I will pray to God for both of you to give a baby boy. To me she said many a times not to worry for kids, at first I ignored her talks but she continuously telling me the same wait for some days for kids, why so worry and enjoy life. Who is she to decide my life. I simply ignored her advice and she even track my monthly periods and ask me or my DH indirectly about my periods :(. My husband don't even realized her intentions and used to tell her whatever she asks. This is so embarrassing moment for me and told her directly not to track my periods and be in limits and I dont like anyone to involve in my personal matters, we had a small fight on this too. The matters settled she is quite for few days and started querying about all my things again with my husband. She will call DH at his working hours, he even started rejecting her calls slowly saying like he is busy at work. She is a Drama Queen, texts him she want to die as there is no one to talk to her, she is feeling so lonely. On seeing that my DH worries and talk to her in normal way. I m very much tensed about this, how to avoid her daily calls with my DH.

    She is having a small kid, stills behaves like she had no life and much interested about my Life :(

    Please help me with your suggestions, how to keep her in limits and not to involve in my matters. I informed to my ILs too, still they cant able to control her and SLs says finally like she is having authority on her brothers life too :(
     
    Loading...

  2. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    You continue ignoring whenever she oversteps her mark with you. You could even say, "I'd rather not discuss it." when she starts being intrusive and change the topic.

    However ensure that your husband is on yourside by not complaining about his manipulative sister. Let her throw her tantrum. You don't provide an audience.
     
    monita likes this.
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,508
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Op, Let this poking into your life run its course. Sooner or later your hubby will be bugged and stop telling himself . I myself have such SIL . It took me yrs to cut her off but it happened and now hubby doesn't discuss anything with her.
    When your SIL talks such things to you cut her off. Your hubby will soon realize its more of nuisance than family advice.Good Luck.
     
    asha3 likes this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Op....when she asks questions that are none of her business...tell her clearly you don't like answering such personal questions.No need to get husband involved.

    If she discusses something through your husband...tell him you do not like something personal being discussed with others.

    She has no authority over brothers life and definitely no authority over your life and your life with your husband.


    I don't understand why these sisters think they have 'authority' over brothers life ...even married brothers.
    How often do we hear of brothers interfering in their married sisters life and personal affairs?
     
  5. saps105

    saps105 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    529
    Likes Received:
    252
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    If she asks you again, tell her if there is anything you will tell her herself when it happens. Don't keep asking again and again, I don't like it.

    Or instead of replying to her queries (smiling) ask her when is trying for second child. Keep asking every time she asks you. Keep pestering her till she herself stops.
     
    seekout, madras2018 and guesshoo like this.
  6. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    3,283
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Whenever she asks about anything personal, tell her to ask her brother (your DH) and let her speak to your DH...very soon your DH will fed up with her interference :)...men can't take this for long.
     
  7. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Mean, I know but would be great if OP would tell her husband too not to delay it too much yada yada! :p
     
    madras2018, saps105 and asha3 like this.
  8. asha3

    asha3 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Very True " Men can't take this for long" waiting for those beautiful moments :)
     
  9. madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    1,699
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I think the advice by others to remind your sil of her boundaries is good. If i were you I wld go a step further and confuse the hell out of her by giving lots of misinformation about my "dates". She can spend her time barking up the wrong tree & not even know it.
     
    asha3, NeetaR, RedFlower and 3 others like this.
  10. Roses3

    Roses3 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Just ignore her and be your own. Your husband has to definitely stop attending her phone calls. If she has nothing to do, ask her to go out and work. You can have a chat with her directly. But this cannot continue,
     
    asha3 likes this.

Share This Page