Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rubyru, Jul 10, 2019.
Thuune mera dil choo liya with this image !
I agree with all the suggestions! But someone has to start acting since it is a two way street. Taking initiative doesn't make her any weaker. It shows she cares about the relationship and is stronger than him.
Also, all the suggestions here are just like treating the symptom. First and foremost, OP needs to find the root cause of all these. Otherwise all the effort will go worthless.
The core problem is not the weight but the way the husband is handling the weight. An ideal solution would be saying “ I love you and I want you to be healthy, let’s eat healthy and let’s hit the gym together” ( instead of you are unattractive and we are finished ).
OP can shed the weight and become attractive but how does one make her husband respectful and compassionate?
Also if his love and attraction lasts only till she looks perfect , what does she do if she is aging and putting on weight and wrinkles ?? Still try to look perfect and seduce him ?
That is true. Here we don't know why he is acting like that. He is not showing that he loves her and cares about her!
I am sooo thankful to each one of you for replying. I am emotional right now to know there are people who can understand my situation.
This has been going on for almost two years now. Even if we get intimate nothing happens to him. As someone told here he might have ED. Who should convey this to him? I tried but failed miserably.
His hurtful remarks and comments had taken a toll on my emotional health. I feel worthless,no self respect at all and zero self esteem right now.
Let me tell you guys I am not that fat the way he mentions it to me. I keep on asking my friends and fam whether I am really fat .
It's like I need validation from people to know that I am okay. I am sick of all this now.
His contribution to my weight loss is he gets dumbbells etc n ask me to shed within a month. He doesn't understand that his attitude for the past two years has just broken me .
He was a loving ,caring and understanding before. After my second kid everything is going downhill. Just because I gained few kilos his love is gone. I don't want you guys just to take my side but please help me understand the situation completely. I hope I make some sense . Being very emotional so excuse my long post.
I totally understand. When spouse makes you feel worthless it affects mental health and physical health too.
Maybe because he cant get erection, he blames you to keep up with his male ego (which is totally unacceptable n morally wrong on his part).
This is downright emotional abuse as others told.
Have you told him ever how you feel hurt by his rude remarks n treatment?. Try to make him aware of your hurt but in a proper way. If he did love you before genuinely, he will try to understand.
If no talking helps, you have choice of taking either marital counselling or else treat him like just another person in the house n ignore taking care of his needs whether its doing his laundry or asking him fr dinner or packing his meals for office etc etc whatever you used to do...stop all that.
Use this now free time to enrol yourself alone in counselling to regain your self-confidence. Join a gym not because he said you to lose weight or because youare fat but only because you should get a break n be healthy. Joining gym and working out is not jus to lose weight.
It also help you interact with other people, listen peppy songs at gym to boost your mental health and ofcourse physically it keeps you fit.
Use all your time and energy to do what u like and fr ur kids.
Maybe then someday he will comearound and realise his mistakes. Even if not, you would have by then made a happy life for yourself
Make yourself and your kids your world and find happiness and peace within yourself.
P.s we all are here if anytime you feel overwhelmed n emotional. Pour your heart out...even if just a vent. You will feel better
Is he Tom Cruise?
You need to lose fat, that's all. You are not the same person he met 12 years ago. But he is still the same person providing you and your family. Men lose interest in fat wife, sorry.