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Staying In Touch With Ex-spouse

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Dreamer, Feb 6, 2019.

  1. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Hello people, as a divorced male, I have been helped tremendously here at IL with the posts I have read and also by getting some great answers. I was just wondering if there is anyone here who has stayed in touch with their ex-spouse and/or in-laws post divorce. I have been in touch on and off but nothing which could lead to a patch up or anything. How do you people view it? Is it good or bad?
     
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  2. Penelope

    Penelope Bronze IL'ite

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    Do you want to patch things up? Is that your goal?
     
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  3. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    Do you two together have a kid. If you have kid it's better to do co parenting so kids get to have love of both parents.

    But if no kids stay away from her and let her move on with life and you do same.

    Unless after separation you miss her and feel you should get back.
     
  4. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Not looking for patch up. Just staying in touch over small things.
     
  5. harithab

    harithab Senior IL'ite

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    Hi @Dreamer ,

    Do u have any kid(s) with ur ex wife ?
    If "Yes", its always good to carry forward a cordial friendship for the well being of kid(s).
    If "No" and u have plans for a second marriage, its better to get rid of all memories and people associated with ur first marriage.
    Or is there something which still holds you back to be in touch with ex ?
     
  6. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    What is this 'small things' you are talking about? What is the reason for being in contact with EX. If you dont have kids together, better stay away from her. In this case, move on with your life and allow her to move on with her life. I dont think your future partner will ever like the idea of you having contact with ex-spose. It can create more issues in your future relationship.Get rid of past memories , learn from this experience and start fresh. If you come across them by any chance, interact with them like in normal friendship, if they do the same and then move on with your own life.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
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  7. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    lol. amusing how the main Question is dodged. If there are no kids, there is no reason to stay in touch. did not mean to be rude, but i guess OP you have not moved on .
     
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  8. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    We don't have kids and the small things relate to some investments we had made together. No patch up in mind. Looks like I should not stay in touch at all.
     
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  9. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    I had the impression that all finance matters will be settled down generally at the time of divorce. Your lawyer may be able to help. Or you can involve a senior family member if its a serious thing. If you don't want any of those you can write an email or post a mail to their address, just to get a satisfaction that you informed them. It is better to have a written document. It is up to you to decide whether to contact them for this issue because you are the only one who knows your ex and the issues or comfort levels with them. You are the one who knows your situation well. But if all things are settled, its better to move on. Good luck
     
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  10. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Silver IL'ite

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    I have a kid so i am forced to have cordial relationship with ex

    If i didnt have a kid I would completely close that chapter and move on. Its not healthy or helpful for your future.

    Pls focus on new people and new experiences rather than going back to past
     
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