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Some Tips for a Successful Marriage!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by lovelyme, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. lovelyme

    lovelyme Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Everyone!!

    These are some tips to make the marriage relation work:

    1) First and foremost, don't forget, "Today's DIL is tomorrow's MIL."

    2) Always give the confidence to your PIL that you are not there to snatch away their sons from them. Don't expect your husband to come after you after the marriage. Give them time and space to be with his parents. The more time you allot for him the quick he understands and begins to be close to you. This gives the chance to your PIL to think that their son and DIL would never ever go away from them emotionally. The bond between DIL and PIL becomes stronger in this juncture and trust me you will definitely get pampered by your PIL.

    3) The possessiveness is the root cause of so many problems in the married life and in the relationship with in-laws. Don't expect your in-laws to go away from your husband. Adjust yourself in the beginning by spending much time with your in-laws and soon you would see how they willingly leave you and your husband alone. Moral: Hide your possessiveness and let your actions show that your in-laws are equally important to you like your husband.

    4) Spend much time with your MIL and SIL except for the night time. Soon you will get the certificate "My DIL/SIL is the Bestest". Within three or four months you will be allowed to spend ample time with your husband. Who knows full time may be.

    5) Try to find pleasure in helping them in house hold chores and listen to their advice and bring some of them to practicality if possible.

    6) Never imagine them to be your worst enemies.

    7) Guide and befriend your SIL voluntarily.

    8) Don't find fault with your husband when he spends for them. Just remember how would you feel if the same thing happens some ten or fifteen years after.

    9) Take care of their health and don't forget to show them that you care.

    10) Never hesitate to say sorry when needed/

    Feel the miracles and see the miracles. Because miracles do happen.....:coffee
     
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  2. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Is there an acronym FAQ I can read. Sometimes when I read posts, I am not always sure what the different words mean? I tried google, but some of them seem specific to this site, or just buried amongst other meanings?

    ABCD
     
  3. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    Good thread, thanks OP for the initiative..
    You gave a class of tips which is mainly focusing on "Women's guide for Successful management of In-laws"..
    Also a tip from my side for the class of "Each other management Guide for partners" is.. "Respect the others thin layer of their own space" Dont dig too deep to OWN the other.. just respect them with their own choice/space/world at least to the closest extent that wont mess up your relationship
     
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  4. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, as long as the tips for successful marriage provides set of rules and regulations only for the women , there would always be "sabhaash" , "well said" from men.Who cares as long as people do not look up to you for making the relationship work.A marriage can be successful only when every stakeholder performs his/her duty properly and put in the right efforts.
     
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  5. praneeth76

    praneeth76 Silver IL'ite

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    atlast all the relations like husband and wife...inlaws with sil or dil.....inlawa to inlaws....should be ready to make compromises for each other..

    "MARRIAGE IS A GAMBLE"
    ''WHEN IT COMES OF IT LOOKS GOOD..IF IT DOESN'T COMES OFF,,BE READY TO MAKE COMPROMISES".
     
  6. vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    This is a "TO DO GUIDE ONLY FOR THE GIRL"
    what if DIL n SIL n MIL are reading this thread :hide:
     
  7. ammani

    ammani Gold IL'ite

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    good tips...

    but practically all PIL, SIL, DIL, hubby are not same...

    my hubby, PIL are good.... i try to reach their expectations... my FIL just loves me especially when i cook something special every time for him... first time after the marriage when i was preparing dal vada... he came to the kitchen... i was putting second round of the vada in to the oil pan... FIL picked the hot dal vada from the plate ate it n went in to his bedroom.... within 2 mins he was back n picked 2-3 to eat!!! n said fantastic wow!!! even pulav, salad he kept them for next day without throwing (which my MIL does... she doesnt keep much of left overs in the house)

    my SILs (one is my hubby's own sister and rest 4 are his cousins) are mean and used to put things in to my hubby and PILs head against me (sometimes they believed and reacted... nothing bad though coz they know me by just watching me do things for them)... now my hubby listens to the complains from one ear n forgets it... PIL are still under the influence...
     
  8. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Well...I'll say I agree to all of the list. That is something I can try..I did try. But what comes back may or may not be what you expect. But I guess we'll have our own ways to deal with it when it comes..right?

    I just have to say this for now...
    The day I went to my friend's place to announce that I was getting engaged, her uncle gave me the best piece of advise. I said best cos it worked for me :).
    He said, the first year of marriage is like your probation period. If you behaved yourself then, the impression they get of you would stick for the rest of your life. It meant, it takes time to understand a family. Where I come from and where I go are never going to be same. I was at the receiving end of a lot of things and by the end of the "probation" what I received was also praises for being a good listener and for making the effort to fit myself into the "new organisation".

    I agree with the other ladies, not everyone is received the same way. But fortunately it worked out for me that the "new management" was also willing to wait and see how "skilled" I was. That is also an important thing.
    Volunteer good behaviour..that is all you can do and that is something worth giving a try.
     
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  9. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    abcdguy: here's the key:
    IL stands for In-law
    Prefixed by -
    B for brother
    D for daughter
    F for father
    M for mother
    S for sister (if its mentioned with a little frustration)
    S for son is also possible
    P for Parents

    Lol..that would be the family alphabet lesson. Hope I haven't missed out any.
     
  10. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Good tips dear! I agree that most of us do these things with our ILs but the outcome may or may not be as expected. Like a man and wife take time to understand each other, similarly a girl also takes time to understand her new family and their ways, and ILs need to adjust and accept this and make it easy for the girl to be a part of the family.
    Like u said in ur Tip 1 - First and foremost, don't forget, "Today's DIL is tomorrow's MIL."... there wont be problems if MILs remember this but how many actually remember it? Just bcoz a MIL faced issues with her MIL it doesn't mean she should treat her DIL the same way she (today's MIL) was treated in her early days of marriage. There are very few MILs who actually keep this past of theirs in their mind. A girl can accept the new family well if there is acceptance and willingness from the ILs side. It's a two way relationship which can't work only from one side.
     

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