Sister In Law - Cannot Understand Her Behaviour

Sangeeta85 · Nov 20, 2018

While someone come to the house it’s common ritual to give haldi kumkum or apply to forehead. If u did not do it she must have took the liberty to do it by herself . Yes some ppl apply to their mangalsutra. I knew one of my neighbors applied it to mangalsutra and if they visit us they insist on applying to the mangalsutra and forehead. .
I don’t think she has any ill feel for u .

NaiveLady · Feb 9, 2019

SonyThumma said: ↑

Hi everyone,

As the title suggests, I cannot seem to understand some of the things my SIL does. Some background. My brother and I are very close. Anytime he visited me when he was single, the things like paying for food etc... never came up. As I am the older sister and me and husband used to take care of everything during his visit. He got married and the first thing I noticed is the frequency of visits have reduced. And when they do visit, my SIL who is a housewife insists on paying for everything. [I know she is a bit touchy about her unemployment. I work full time.] For example, oil for lamps for pooja in my home she wanted to get and this created a standoff moment where I told that we [me and my husband] will buy. She was upset as to why she was not allowed to pay for it.

Another issue is she is constantly taking kumkum haldi from my pooja room. I don't know for what. Once I saw her using it for her mangalsutram. But, recently it looked like she had scraped the bottle as we stockpile for later use.

Any help appreciated. Is it normal for your younger brother's family to buy things when they visit an older sisters home. Also do your relatives keep taking kumkum haldi from your pooja room everyday/whenever they visit.
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Hi, I can't relate exactly since I don't have a brother, but I do have a brother-in-law (husband's brother) so his wife is my co-sister. Others have written some helpful info regarding your sister-in-law's gestures/behavior, her behavior doesn't seem ill-intentioned or harmful or mean as far as I can see, based on what little you have mentioned about her. Is she a pleasant and kind person to interact with and have conversations with? Aside from what you mentioned, are there other memories you have with her that are more positive?

Understanding between two people is not easy and takes a lot of work and patience from both of them, so if you and her work at building your relationship, am sure things will improve over time.. You mentioned you are close with your brother, am sure that helps.

It is easy to advise. I know I have things to work on regarding my relationship with my co-sister. but it is a long story and outside the scope of this post.

Good luck!