Side effects of two own sisters going to same house as Dil

Sneheth · Mar 29, 2014

Oh god hv mercy
Unfortunately I got trapped in this vicious circle.I am younger sister and in my elder sis marriage bil younger bro saw me and fixed me for marriage.Though both families did not like caz of dh force all accepted.As he said he wills sucide I believed him.
From then on started mental torture and blackmailing both our sisters by bil and mil,sil. They will leave both of us if anyone fight against them.
Gradually they changed my dh which caused fights to extent of divorce.
PIL and sil are such a bitch that they even tortured till elder sis tried to sucide. Elder one is living in India and myself in USA.
Hell is nowhere but what I am facing is called hell.
Her mental torture is that she made her sons to sleep in their bedroom when we both sisters r pregnant in different times.
I always feel I am guilty caz I accepted dh believing his words.Now parents and sis feel that I made big mistake by going to same home as Dil.
Why did god trap me?Is believing someone is sin in these days.What to do friends.

thegirlygirl · Mar 29, 2014

Dear OP,

Your post is not very clear to me, but I have got some idea of what you are trying to say.

In my family too, my mother's younger sister has married my father's elder first cousin.
My father and his cousin are like real brothers, so it is like real sisters marrying real brothers.

From your situation the problem does not seem to come from sisters marrying into the same family, it seems just like any other DIL MIL issue.

In your situation, you should consider yourself lucky, since your co sister is your sister, and you can fight this injustice together.

Problems of girls marrying into the same family comes, when the in laws instigate one sister against the other, and use her as a weapon against the other DIL, and inturn make the DIL's parents life miserable.

Your situation is not that complex, perhaps if you could clearly explain your problem to us, then members here will be able to guide you and help you better.

Sneheth · Mar 29, 2014

Ok
My elder sister is treated as a free slave to her dh and PIL,2sil,sil husbands,their kids.(in India)Eventhough sil won't leave with my sister most often they visit. They all r very adamant and headstrong.They don't like my sister to even smile.she shud smile only if anything gud for sil or PIL.They even took months baby away from my sister to make my sister come and work for them.They always want to treat their daughters,her kids,her husband as kings and queens.Everyday mil trains my bil to get angry on my parents and sis and me.Every week there will be a complaining call on her to my parents.Everyday mil and sils talk abt everything between my sis and bil and plan what fight to pick for next day so as to make fights between them.My parents got frustrated and said my sister and bil hv to separate from that PIL and start new family.
I am in USA and my dh is my bil own bro
As my parents were strict to make my sister and bil separate from that family my PIL and sil planed and when I went to India last time they made me stay with my parents without giving visa documents and blackmails my parents saying"if u send ur elder daughter to stay with us then only your younger daughter will go to USA"
we struggled a lot for an year even doing panchayat ,lawyer but as we both hv kids parents decided to send my elder sis to il house.
But still they r continue same torture to elders sister.They always take sisters elder son to sil house and make close to her caz she has 2daughters and no sons.
So my sister is now again with my parents and she is deciding not to go to PIL house.I too agree that but they r spoiling my life .My dh and bil r just wooden pieces and they play whatever their parents and sis r saying.mil and sils r devils.
what to do now?getting H1 as of now is not possible for me to stay here.My parents hv to take of us and our kids.Getting job and surviving is also hard with kids.Lot of questions.We don't want my sis to go to il house again in any case.

yellowmango · Mar 29, 2014

Dear Snehath....hugs to you dear.I don't have much to say accept give you support. Hang on dear and try to become independent over a period of time. Stay united.....and if required take help from some women help org. It is sad that your husband is a spineless gutless excuse of a man who lets his wife be a hostage in the hands of his mother and sisters.I hope your Mil and SIls pay for their monstrous behavior in this lifetime.Shameless family!

Hugs and best wishes to you both and your kids.

Sneheth · Mar 29, 2014

Thanks ym and girlygirl
I don't think God can gv justice in this kaliyug.Pil,sil r enjoying till now.Dh and bil r dipping them in pool of money and they r relaxing.As my parents r financially gud they r giving my sis all financial support.They won't even buy a new dress for my sis on her bday.

thegirlygirl · Mar 31, 2014

Dear Sneheth,

I am very sorry to hear about your situation.

From your post, I am getting a feeling that perhaps you and your DH's situation is not as bad as your sister's.

You have an advantage of being away from your family, make best use of this, try to strengthen your relationship with your hubby, for a while forget about your sister and other family members, you try to win your hubby's love, respect and trust.

Just don't talk about the rest of the family when the two of you are together, spend some good time together, and try to understand each other well.

Over time, as you and your hubby unite and become a team, you will be able to eventually help your sister too, and your IL's and SIL's tactics will fail completely.

In the meanwhile you can ask your sister to get a job, and atleast work towards being financially independant.