Should I Go Or Not

hi all, I need you suggestion on something which is kept running in my mind for some long time,

My story I am married for 2 years have a baby 11month old(who is with my mom at native now). My DH has a Sister who is married for 12 years(2kids, 11 n 2 yr) and stays at my In-laws home. Her husband works somewhere, he frequently visits her(SIL go to husband for 2 months in a year, rest all the time she will be her mom and dad. when I asked them about her they said she comes hear for vacation to stay(i never know vaction is would be this long). SIL never talks to me, DH or my baby on phone, if we visit in laws she dominates us, she n her kids want to get everything before us, DH never speaks about that so inlaws, i get hurt but ignore them. Now her second daughter turning three, so there is a tradition shaving of head(gundu) which has to be performed maternal uncle. they are keeping some function for that, which they told my husband he agreed to come and perform(fine, I have no problem for him to go), but problem is that he wants me to come along with him(he doesn't mind if i am invited or not, he got invitation that would do), where I dont have invitation, my MIL called me to ask whether my DH is available on that day or not? she or my sil didnt care to inform or invite me for that.

when I discussed this with my mom.. she was insistin me to attend the function for the sake of my husband else he would get hurt and also in a month my LO first bday is coming, so she was asking me to not create any difference. but I am not feeling like to go

 

thanks sindmani for your reply.. Yeah I can go, but the thing my MIL doesnt care about my child.. she never asked me or DH to bring him or mentioned him to get with us, as I said my baby with my mom( they didnt even call my parents, I dont even expect to call them). Her only concern Her son should come perform rituals, get gifts for her grand daughter thats it. she just separated me and my son from the family.

 

thank you its nearer 1.5hr drive, that is the hard part going there and not meeting my son.. thinking itself it is killing me, we cant pick him since we reach just before the function, my inlaws doesnt go there to pick him.. if I ask my dad he would drop him, but I dont want to embarss them just for my sake coz they are not invited to the function

 

Thank you I agree with you, daughter has full rights to stay with her parents.. but the case is bit different here. My in-laws are financially dependent on my husband, me and DH are caring towards our parents, when ever they are in difficult situation they look upto us.. I mean if there is any emergency, need to visit hospital, want to travel somewhere, buy anything, need of money they call us (infact me alone), i would immediately find out a solution for it, but my SIL never cares for them, FIL can not travel alone, if he visits hospital me or DH should accompany him, FIL has to bear all her & kids expenses, she would not even buy a diaper for daughter with her money, even her husband is same, he comes every month and stays here for a week. when I started working( as I was BF my baby) we asked our in-laws to move in with us for few months at least till he turns 1, but they just denied, my MIL refused to take my sons responsibility, so I left him with my mom. My SIL doesnt even touch him, jealous of him just because she doesnt have a boy,she got 4 times abortion after first child to have a boy, but god gave her a beautiful girl, can you believe still people are discriminating towards girl, I just hate that lady since i know that. even she fights with MIL if she is carrying my baby in-front of me, MIL doesnt play with my baby if her daughter in-sight. if hubby comes she acts so nicely. FIL keeps complains about his daughter to me, I want to yell to him please go and tell this to your daughter, sort out your problems.
"Only line SON-DIL should take responsibilities, where daughter should have fruits". I am deeply hurt because of this, we are not money minded, we are just expecting little love and care from them, not just ATM machines.

I dont have any harsh feelings towards niece, if at all I go to the function she is the only reason, she is just adorable.

 

no he wants everything on time, if we misses that he gets cranky and hyper, since there is a function, my MIL would be busy , she never let me into kitchen to cook, so it would be difficult for me to manage him