This appears to be a class action, instead of an individual problem. Techie marries techie in India. Both have jobs. Hurry to have a child for multiple, complex reasons. In-law issues and fights. One or both get h1B to go to America. Optional h4B hell for one. Escape from In-laws, but grim, busy life substitutes for that. Worry about what's-to-become-of-me/us withers love life. Stop talking to each other so as not to worry the other. (optional: Take to booze to forget worries, ED: ♂︎ becoming õ) Each confide in friend -- or Internet forum anonymous-advisers. Advice: Wait till child(ren) in College, and Permanent Resident visa in hand. The innocenti who have no clue about what goes on in the lives of the younger generation ask this: In the past generation life was very simple. Girl married young, and was sent off to live in joint family. Before she(and her husband) knew exactly how body parts work, she had 3 children. Her life was a tussle in the establishment of her status in the joint family hierarchy, and her children's health and nutrition. No time to complain. No time to harass spouse, as joint family offered many other targets to harass. Love/Sex - the causes of all misery was given up decades before death, with thankful relief. 30 was the old 50: and then, life span was much shorter. All over before too long. Question to @Lonely12 : Do you buy or design/hand-stitch the halloween costume for the child ?