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Should I Confront?

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Sweety2016, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    I have been disturbed for the past 2 days.

    The living room of my house has only glass doors on one side of the walls adjoining the balcony. So I generally keep it closed with black out curtains. Nowadays since it rains here, I pull out the screen, open the glass door to allow some fresh air to come in..I can clearly see what happens in the house at the same level as mine in the adjacent block. There stays 2 cute children aged approx 4 and 6 who wave at me and we exchange smiles occasionally..The mother yells at them at high pitch voice clearly audible to us frequently...She will be on phone at the balcony most of the time while the children would be hooked to their tablets..I generally get away from the sofa when I hear yelling. But off late, I could hear heavy thrashing sounds..Once or twice when I saw she was beating and slapping the children..Fine, her way of disciplining..I tried my best to ignore..

    But this sunday, she literally threw one of the kids (4 yr) towards the wall in anger and started slapping the elder one continuously.The smaller child landed down in the sofa.It seems they have spilled something on ground..I saw her mopping later....I could hear the screams of the children and the continuous yelling, slapping for sometime..

    I started sweating not knowing what to do..I was really concerned for the safety of the children..I may be over reacting here..But what if the head gets hit on the wall..My H tells me to mind my business and ignore..

    I plan to stand and stare at her intensely the next time she does something overboard..else ignore..

    What is the most sensible thing I can do here without inviting trouble?
     
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  2. startinganew

    startinganew Silver IL'ite

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    That definitely sounds like child abuse to me - not disciplining. Children cannot speak for themselves if this is all the reality they know of. I cannot even imagine - slapping such a young child that you as a neighbor could hear. If I were you, I would have panicked too for the safety and well-being of these children.

    Maybe someone else will know if there is a "child-protection service" - like equivalent in India?

    Can you please do a web search for your city or if you don't mind share city here so others/I can find it for you.

    I would definitely call such an agency and report the abuse. Maybe a visit from such a center may be a good-enough warning to the mother to change her ways. I would do my best to do "this reporting" anonymously because you are a neighbor and could become the target of some hatred.

    Where is the father of the children during these times? You have seen really important info that could potentially protect these children from having a traumatic childhood.
     
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  3. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    Definitely child abuse and you have a moral obligation to report this, anonymously if u want.
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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  5. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    If the family is living in India, no use in giving complaint. This will not be treated as child abuse in any way. I don't know laws outside India. If you really want to help the kids, try to befriend the mother and convey your thoughts on this matter as a friend.
     
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  6. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Asking the mother may not help, as she is the abuser. She her self in very bad condition, and her anger is coming out like that or some depression. She needs help and counselling and change in her thought process.

    kids father live in the same house? any grandparents live or come and go? needs to save the kids, please see where you can complain.
     
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  7. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    You should report this. This woman might be mentally deranged or psycho, dont ignore this
     
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  8. Emarald

    Emarald Silver IL'ite

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    So shocking, feeling so sad for these kids. Pls do both things as per other posters suggestions. Report anonymously and also befriend this women. She might not be mother of kids. Maybe babysitter or guardian or relative. Please take immediate action for good sake
     
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  9. startinganew

    startinganew Silver IL'ite

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    I have to disagree that even though this might be “mild” compared to other severe child abuse that happens - getting slapped and thrown in to a wall is definitely a very bad sign. We do not know what other things *already* happens or *will* happen to these children if a parent is willing to do this now.

    I found some time at work to check.

    1. Save the children:
    Accepts donations online and has offices in all big cities but no way to file a complaint online.
    Save the Children India | Contact us
    You can call and find out more.

    2. National commission of Child rights
    Complaints-National Commission for Protection of Child Rights, Government of India
    Has a way to submit complaints online. I created a sample account to check. To complete the form one needs to provide a identifying details like Adhar card number, etc. but luckily these details don’t need to be accurate - as there is no form validation - I have used dummy numbers and check that the form allows you to go to the page where you can explain what you saw. If you want I can PM you the details of the trial account I created if you would like to use it. Or you can begin with creating an email account for reporting purposes and use it. If you want to do it anonymously, please use dummy numbers and do not state "how" you saw what you saw.

    Link to the online portal to make the complaint.
    NCPCR New Delhi

    Thanks a lot @Sweety2016 for caring enough to share here with us.

    I also think talking to the "abuser" or trying to change the "abuser" will not work. Even normal parents don't like to get "parenting" advice - I don't see how it can work with someone whose behavior is unacceptable. And most importantly the father or other family members may not even know about this behavior.
     
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  10. Emarald

    Emarald Silver IL'ite

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    It's possible father has abandoned family or is living abroad. I doubt this women is real mother. If she is she might be throwing husband's anger on kids
     
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