should I ask mil or not?

OP,

Just let it go..at least for the time being. Her coming forward and telling you in itself is worth its weight in gold . Dont give them a chance to think bad about you. Dont even mention this to your husband. If at all you think, you need to, just casually mention it to him and let it be... I know how you feel though, because I go through something not unlike you.... I am the only daughter-in-law of the family, and my husband has no siblings either. My mom-in-law keeps telling me that all her jewellery is for me and that she need 'not give me anything specific for me', and all that's hers is mine and all that is mine is hers... (to be fair, she never wore anything of mine apart from costume pieces, and she has let me wear one or two of hers and I ve never heard the last of it too ).I am usually given something as a gift, and asked for it again.. I was given a set for the wedding, and I was not allowed to wear it for a while, and the same with a chain for my first anniversary... There have been times when I have felt that I should not accept anything from them as my mom-in-law will anyway want it back in a few days..

The long and short of this is, do NOT ask about it.. It will backfire on you. Even if you think about the right time to ask your mom-in-law, she could take it wrongly. She could have meant it with good will, and asking her for it can cause you to lose it. When you are having a light discussion, you can maybe just mention that you are thinking of getting some gold.. (maybe mention some occasion, but this depends on how she will take it), and see if she offers some suggestion... but this can be done only if you have a really good relationship with her. Tread this with care, as you dont want to lose the good relationship you have with your in-laws...

Mythili

 

In my home too the 2nd dil got more jewellery, as my ILs were financially better off. But they are emotionally closer to me. anyway love is better than gold

 

I don't think you should ask her for it. Any gift is a voluntary gesture on the part of the giver. Affection and gifts can't be forced. Even if she had not said anything about it, it would not be right to ask her. It is upto her what she gives to whom. You cannot question that (even if in all fairness she should treat both dils equally) or demand.

Leave it. I am sure you have enough of stuff of your own and you can earn well and buy more for yourself whenever you have the means. These are small things. So long as she is behaving well with you, leave well alone.

 

Asking for a gift is not right. In any culture, the act of gifting is at the discretion of the giver. Why would you want to "ask" for a gift? She has gifted you something which might not be on par with the gift to the other DIL. But you still got your gift, and you should be happy about it.

 

Hi, you have to have some patience. This happened with me also. My MIL said that she will give me some cash for getting gold when she saw me arguing with my husband in the kitchen. I initially thought she said that to pacify me and left the matter as such. After that incident we also had some rough patch which made me think that is never going to happen. :drowning

But suddenly on karthigai day (10th dec) she gave me 1 lac cash. :bowdown I got some jewels last sunday with that. She was so nice with me. I thanked her a lot. So have patience, she might have reserved it for some big day, like your wedding day or birthday or some auspicious day. :thumbsup

 

If I were you I will not ask her.

 

Its better not to ask her,you are bonding well with her
she might give it in the future....

 

Please have some patience. Its better not to ask her....

 

Hi Nskssp,
I would suggest that you dont ask her.See you already asked your FIL once and I am sure that he must have communicated it to your MIL.So,now if you again ask her,it will portray you in bad light.
She made a positive move by coming and herself telling you.So that means she already has that in mind.Her love and this gesture is much more costly which you could not earn otherwise..
My MIL too promised me of giving a golden set but she is now back stepping..I am never gonna ask her.Although she never made any positive move or indiction to give that in future like your MIL did..
But I feel my self respect is never going to allow me to ask her for that!!

 

agree with the others... don't spoil your relationship for the sake of a few pieces of jewellery..if you do ask and then your relationship turns sour, you will not enjoy wearing the gold anyway... if her admission about doing less for you has come from the heart, it weighs much more than any gold she can give you...

my story is similar to your's except that it has a different ending...

only son, so only DIL - she gave me one small chain..i was ok with it.. until i realised her true colour... she gives only to tell others that she gave...and then she gave me another small piece of jewellery which i DON'T FEEL LIKE WEARING.. it is lying in the bank..

what really matters comes from the heart,,what doesn't comes from a purse, (and in my MIL's case from the mouth - nothing from the heart)