There is no "hiding" if there are no "questions" asked. Noone is going to blurt it all out themselves without understanding the maturity level of the other person. Even if questions were asked about ones past....it is upto the individual how much she/he wants to reveal...and we have to respect that. If I cannot handle what I will hear, it is better not to ask questions and if the person was forthcoming themselves, then too we must respect that because they are telling us because they trust us to accept them with their past... and care enough to be honest. The fact is that the spouse had a relationship BEFORE they met us...not while they were with us....therefore there is no question of forgiving them....because it was in the PAST... and has got nothing to do with us now... All that would matter is today... BEST way is to just assume everyone has a past whether they reveal it or not...accept it and move on....and not brood over it.