Sharing Experiences

Discussion in 'Community Chit-Chat' started by MonikaSG, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    From the year 2009 I was going through many struggles or can say ups and downs in my life. Cannot share everything as I already did a lot about me. Many people liked my posts which made me confident about myself that I can also be right many times. I am not a person very confident about myself not even feel too much low and degraded. Just a normal human being. I am not even a very outgoing one. Be it before marriage or after I like to stay at home and maximum of my lifetime had passed inside home. That made me too far from real life experiences but I even don't miss them too by knowing various negative things about it.

    Still life has taught me various things that I am trying to summarise here.

    First thing that I noticed is if we want something in life desperately or we are possessive about something then that thing will definitely make us to struggle a lot. Its rare to achieve very easily without much difficulties.

    If we are happy with our life then we will start living with fear of losing that happiness or will make up the mind that its just temporary.

    If we are sad then we will come up with more strength to fight with life.

    If we don't deserve something (reason could be we deserve better but that comes out at later stage) then no matter how much we suffer or struggle that thing will never come to us.

    Each and every moment in life has all the existing variations. What we take from that is our own choice. Like for example 4 persons are sitting together in a room and discussing something then each person will get different things that they want to take from their own choice. One can get positive other can be negative and one of them can become angry or can feel funny about it. Then who we will blame on. The situation that was same for everyone but everyone took that differently.

    Thinking negative is very easy. This I think is always within us. But being positive is a creative thought that we come out with our experience and learning.

    Whatever we want to achieve in life can be done only with right attitude. But that thing we learn from life. After some or many failures depends on person's ability.

    We are most of the time get influenced by the person whom we find better than us.

    Our self confidence depends on the people we are interacting with. If we met with more of less influencing people then we are more confident about our self otherwise we doubt on our ability.

    Our mind grows with time and experience. But we always want to be far from present growth. We always expect more from it.

    Many more things to say. But due to short of time I am ending it up here.

    I would love to read everyone's experiences if they like to share some.

    Thanks for reading.
     
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  2. Nylaa

    Nylaa Silver IL'ite

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    I can relate to this. In my case, I wouldn't describe it as fear of losing happiness but more like "the calm before the storm." Quite a bit has happened very quickly in the past couple of years and it's all worked out smoothly. I sometimes wonder if the relative ease with which things have worked out is "the calm before the storm" and there are difficult things ahead.

    Some examples:
    - I mentioned in another thread that I got married a couple of years ago. Although my parents were unsure at first because they thought I was too young, they came around relatively easily after some relatives and family friends talked to them. In addition to that, it wasn't like we were dating for a good amount of time and my parents knew him. We had known each other for about 5 months when he proposed during which my parents hadn't met him and didn't even know that I was seeing anyone. (Initially, I didn't view him that way, so I didn't feel the need to mention him to my parents). From my parents' prospective, it was very sudden and out of nowhere, so I'm surprised that they came around as easily as they did.

    - My husband is of a different background and religion than we are but my parents have been quite supportive. I mean, my parents have always been supportive but they take much pride in our culture and probably would have preferred that I married someone of our background. There hasn't been any major disagreements on religious differences aside from one incident where one cousin got mad because we didn't attend her engagement. (It was back in June, right in the middle of Ramadan, and it seemed not nice to me to ask him to attend with me when he couldn't partake in anything or to go without him). The fact that my family has been so chill and understanding makes me wonder if these things will come out in the future (i.e. "the calm before the storm").
     
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Monika , very interesting life experiences and lessons from you ! We share something in common, I am not outgoing like you at all and I am really proud about it !

    Here’s something my struggles ( and other people) have thought me and helped me ride through the tough times.

    A) Respect and accept yourself first ( with your flaws). Don’t leave any room for self doubt , jealousy, insecurity. You are your biggest strength .

    B) life is unpredictable, things can change in a fraction of a second. Embrace the good and bad times. Learn to find joy in small events and things . Try not to fret over small stuff, restrict the worrying for the really tough times .


    C) surround yourself with positive people. Limit interactions with negative ones ( not always possible) .

    D) Be happy for others, celebrate their happiness.

    E) learn to say NO.
     
  4. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Superb...calm before storm could have this side too...I really liked the way you used this phrase. And I am happy for you that you get the person you liked.
    One of my cousin also get married in early age and I was really worried about her. It was an arranged marriage. But she is now very much happy and found it a right decision. Early marriages have one plus point that they get free from their responsibilities before retirement. This is not a small thing to achieve.

     
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  5. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Last edited: Dec 30, 2017
  6. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Life is too unpredictable. That's true. That made me recall many incidents that made a sudden change in my life. Every point you said is admirable. I can see a very confident lady in you. I really like the way you always reply for all the posts. Just be as you are.
     
  7. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    @Amica and @Shreema86 thanks for liking my post. Will love to hear from you too about your experiences. I may get something that I missed to learn.
     
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  8. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @MonikaSG :hello: Good thread!

    Here's my lesson: You can find wonderful friends anywhere — even in online forums.

    Thank you ILites for all the camaraderie, laughter and knowledge shared this year. :hearteyes:
     
  9. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes very true....I actually become habitual of this forum and daily look for those I know as I like them as friends. I always find someone is missing and then wait for that person to join and reply in some thread. :)
     
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  10. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes very true....I actually become habitual of this forum and daily look for those I know as I like them as friends. I always find someone is missing and then wait for that person to join and reply in some thread. :) my net is too slow I always end up with 2 replies :)
     
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