Seeking Help On A Lifetime Decision

hey thanks dear. I do remember all of you who read through and supported during my time.

 

@DDream I want to make nice write-up for long. But I am not getting enough time. Its been a year we are married and moved to new country. Got busy setting house, settling child in new school...new language learning for.
Give few more days. For sure will put my thought through.

 

well said @yellowmango . even I dont think I can take care of my partner's child as mine. Nothing wrong with intentions. But we need lot of patience to deal with their tantrums.

 

I asked this because that is indicative of something important. Are those just words to comfort you? Does he back his words by action?
I think you are a good person and you will try to be good to his daughter. I just don't want to see you settle for less than what you deserve. You are only 29. It takes a lot more to be a good mother than a good father. Mother's role is much more complex and involved.
I sincerely wish nothing but the very best for you. I quoted you because my observations were simply based on your sentiments/emotions.
I do not condone you for whatever the intimacy you had because you both are grown consenting adults and you don't need anybody's permission. The only thing I would like to point out is that it can cloud your judgement or justify because your emotions gets in the way.
The way you take time to respond with such calmness shows that you are a smart person. Let your brain rather than the heart help you to decide what is best for you.

 

I know of several real life stories of true love and I believe in true love. In all, 4 young women overlooked things; that was their true test of love. Fortunately, their families recognized the couple's love for each other and supported. All are happily married with soul mates in their lives except for one with expected tragic ending. It was just love and friendship and the marriage took 4 to 6 years later.

 

Il'ites have nothing to gain and all want you to make a good decision for yourself so that not only you can live with it; but find happiness. They know only what you tell them. They are cautious and I feel all have responded sincerely to you.
Sometimes, families are not objective and as you have already seen the varied opinions will let you think deeper into this relationship. It also brings up things to ponder that you may not have thought of. You have been very gracious to respond. Take care