Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

True. Putting it another way - if the couple can deal with the mess and hard feelings that result from legal intervention and still salvage the marriage, then, they probably have the ability and reason (kids?) to salvage it without legal help.

You said it well - should be the last resort, and when one is ready to let go of the relation. Legal help is not like a plumber or electrician service that it is utilized and life necessarily becomes more comfortable after.

Involving friends, parents, trusted relatives, professional counselor or therapist, moving out for a while, calling a non-profit organization, plain old communication with spouse, and many other options need to be thoroughly exhausted before legal help is sought. The desired changes that legal intervention brings should be weighed against the side-effects.

It is a narrow line between demonstrating to child that should not take abuse lying down versus giving the child a memory that mom/dad sought legal intervention against dad/mom/grandparent.

 

A husband who does not do much in the kitchen can be a problem in some households. In some, that might be what the husband and wife prefer.

Guests who stay often but don't lift a finger can be a problem in some households. In some, the hosts might prefer things that way.

Even if a woman is dealing with both the above problems, trying to fix them combined-ly is not a good idea. If I have guests who stay often, I would be happy if either the husband or wife helps out and picks up after themselves. I prefer the woman helps me in the kitchen (don't trust leaving the kitchen to the men and risking having to clean up after they are done). I also prefer the woman does their laundry etc., then I don't have to make the laundry area clear of any undergarments etc.

As things are now, I welcome the kitchen duty. Better than having to sit and make small talk or entertain them. DH soon figured out why I so much like the kitchen : ) and soon moved all to the kitchen's dining area, and they ended up watching me while I am in the kitchen. So, he is on phone or reading the newspaper, while I am cooking, cleaning and also making conversation with the guests as I move around the kitchen! The first time this happened I made so many silent gestures to DH to get the audience out from there. He of course didn't understand! I soon put an end to this arrangement. Now, guests can lounge around at the dining table only after a meal and we are all talking. No more "spectators" while I run around my kitchen getting a meal ready.

 

I said I want pongal and sambhar! You ladies are not helping much!

JAM, if making a dry sabji like aalu matar (potatoes and peas) with basic tadka, does the IP take away the need to frequently stir the aalu? Or, is IP only for gravy type dishes?