Hugs to you @pinky2cute It is unfortunately very common here to re-victimize the survivor to show their supremacy. Some people are so naive that they believe it is their good deeds or intelligence that is behind their flawless marriage. Therefore, they would try to find fault at the poster, the moment he/she comes here with a problem. They are under the impression that only those who lack generosity and intelligence have marital problems. You can't change them... Because they are many. That's why, many posters here paint a very lovey dovy marriage in this forum to make sure this community accept them as nice, kind, generous and intelligent people. But the same posters come here with a fake ID to discuss their own problems This forum is yet another sample of the real society that we are living in. There are good people, there are nice people, there are naive people, and there are cunning people. So, please take everything with a pinch of salt. And ignore the rest with a smile. I know, it must be very hard at times when you are already confused and clueless. Sometimes, their counter arguments could be challenging, and they are completely divert your thread to some unknown direction. At times, you may find yourself in responding to useless questions only to justify yourself, while the main intention of your post would have gotten lost its purpose. So, beware. I think you can report such unwanted comments, posts and replies the moment you guess their intention. Ask the mods to delete them. There is a report button for a reason. I am advising you this from my own experience dear. Been there, done that. You are a survivor. Be proud about it. Accept the fact that your husband is not the one every woman would dream of. Not everyone is blessed with dream life in all the aspect. Imagine.. You are a doctor today. But there are girls and boys, who even commit suicide for the fact that they could not become a doctor despite of hard works. God doesn't give same troubles to all. But the fact is, everyone will have to face some darkness, some desert life in their life time. For some it is their childhood, for some it is their early marriage, for some it is their mid-life, and for some it is the elderly life. But everyone will have to undergo such dark times for sure. That's the nature of life. Be happy that you are facing your darkest time when you are able bodied, while you are blessed with nice and supportive people like your parents around. I am sure, you will survive this in no time, and move on to establish a great life very soon. Think about those who dance in proud about their polished life style. Imagine what happens if their dark times come with their children's life, or with their elderly times..... Life is a magic. No one knows what happens next. That's why it is important to be empathetic when someone is in trouble, than to judge them. Because we never know what will happen to us. Eg: One of my cousin was blessed with a great husband and loving PILs, who treated her like a princes in her marital home. She was already a queen at her parent's place, so her life was not in short of blessings. She is in her late 40s, and everything went very well till 31st Dec 2017 when they celebrated her only son's 21st birthday bash. On 3rd of Jan, her otherwise healthy son developed some sickness, which aggravated after a month, so they got him a complete medical check up. That's when it was revealed that he was suffering from stage 4 cancer, and there is no hope of recovery. After loads of treatments in the next few months, her only son died in June. Her life and that of her family members are in complete darkness now. Compared to this, what you are facing is nothing. It is neither of your fault nor my cousin's fault to face problems like this at various phases of the lives. It is life, and please take it as it comes. Respect your instinct, prioritize your self, and plan tactfully. The rest will fall in the right place.