Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

Newspapers (and now-a-days, blogs) work hard to create catchy headlines. Sometimes such things happen inadvertently.
The thread title "Falling back for my Ex..." hints at "round heels"... used to refer to women who are easily tipped over to be on their backs, always ready to receive "attention". Promiscuous.

 

What would I do without your help Rags.
This one is a troll but not the previous one.That poor girl is just trying to put up a brave front and lie. I wonder if she is lying to us or herself.

Feel sad for her.she probably will never have the guts to ask for her rights.Probably won't get any support from any one.

 

I doubt the. Venting women go around calling their MB SL husbands that on their faces.
The term does help in giving us the exact picture.
MB is less gone case compared to the MB + SL combination.

Regarding self fulfilling prophecies......Wish things worked like that...Life would be so much easier.Just aim at the person and call him/ her what you want them to be.Aim and shoot .

 

The fallen woman?
Giri hui in Hindi.

 

No; fallen could imply "can't get up".
A Roundheel is up, but always ready to be tipped over.
roundheel - definition of roundheel in English | Oxford Dictionaries

 

True, but I read JAG's post as saying: don't internalize those labels so much that you project an over-simplified perception on a multi-dimensional relationship, especially one that you want to work. That's good advice.
What you have said is true as well; along with JAG's & Rihana's posts, they all add up to a good picture in toto of what needs to be said & what the OP needs to hear to pick and choose and recombine in the right proportions for her situation!

 

So how do people explain a MB S L guy on a forum when that is the real problem ...As in this case.explain all events and happenings that will show him to be completely in control of his elders with no will to stand up ?

Very often the term is used to describe the situation or condition of the problem.

 

Once I too have called, rather labelled my H as a momma's boy and spineless man when he failed to stand up for me when his parents were too evil.
More than his parents's nasty behavior, what bothered me and my parents were his silence, and acceptance towards it.
That's why we labelled him momma's boy, spineless etc...

But over the time, I've learnt not to call, or even think like this, because I've started to understand his POV when similar things occurred in my side, and how myself and my bro (in separate instances) failed, and allowed ourselves to be labelled as the same... as momma's girl or spineless.
It was when our own mom, according to our eyes, due to her thyroid depression, widowhood insecurity, and old age crisis behaved weirdly with her SNIL and DIL, yet we could not do anything to stop her.
When our PILs behaved like this, we expected our spouses to be neutral, rude with PILs to set things straight and what not. When our spouses failed, we labelled them out of anger.
But now, we could not be so rude with our mom. We were scared to lose her due to her sickness and mental conditions. We were so guilt to even do something, knowing she would be utterly hurt and suffer further depression. But for the outside world, she looked perfectly normal though.
Since we care, and know her, we placed her health and comfort before everything else.
During this time, all we needed was some support from our spouses. A listening ear, since we are anyways loosing our own sanity while combating this.
No one wishes to lose their spouse or the marital bliss over a parent. But the truth is that they are not ready to lose their parents either.
Our spouses supported (my H and my SIL in my bro's case), so it was very much easy for us to set the boundaries gradually without hurting anyone.
More so, we were able to think practically, and able to protect our spouses, rather we were able to sort things out before these things reach to our spouses or disturb them.
It would have not been possible, had our spouses picked up a battle or complicated the situation.

This even helped us understand our in laws and their demands (of course they are wrong...but they are great parents to our spouses). We depended on our spouses to handle them, and settle the issue. We allowed our spouses to take their own time, and chose to ignore if things goes too much.
Since our spouses are on our side, nothing was too much to ignore.

Parents, extended family, friends, neighbors, office colleagues etc..etc.. are very much important to our life, so is the spouse.
There shouldn't be any choices as chose this or that. If so, life would be so difficult.

 

We read the interpretations of whatever-it-was from one point of view. The MB-SL(man,boy,son,lover?) could be doing multiple acting in various roles, sort of like a bollywood movie with shahrukhkhan, now shah, now rukh, and then a little khan.

It is a grand drama with many actors, and each of them playing many parts. And we get to see one sliver of one person's view. And with our own world view, and experiences, we come back with interpretations, comments, and heck, even remedies and solutions. Some might say that girls who think/see too much suffer too much. In the end, clever ones have a good life; and those who complain of a lack of such a life, need to get cleverer.