relationship with my husband ruining because of inlaws

luc · Nov 8, 2014

Things are not going great at my end. I am 3 months pregnant have a 2 yr old. My pil have been here for 6 months taking care of us and my 2 yr old. The issue is my hubby just doesn't want to listen me crib about his parents. His parents are very nice but sometimes my mil gets on my nerves. And lately if I say anything back to her she will start crying as if I cursed her. Day before yesterday my mil was looking for something I knew she won't be able to find it so I got up n gave it to her saying you would have never found it. I didn't even say it in a bad way. She started pouring saying I didn't like what you said I explained it to her and apologized million times but now she is started acting in different. I told my hubby about it and he said it's ok she is sad that she is leaving us. Then my hubby knows that I get nauseated when I have to change my 2 yr old diaper but still he asked me to clean him I was cleaning him up and my pil were going to sleep so my hubby wished them and then he is asking me to wish them but I was so nauseated so I didn't wish them for this my hubby got so angry .

What the hell is this.. I never expected my hubby to behave this way. He keeps telling me that I am a very hard person to deal with n all. I have issues with my pil but I try to stay away from them to avoid it. My husband doesn't understands this. I don't know what to do I feel our relationship is not working out and I feel it's because of my pil. He loves his parents and he wants the same from me, but I just can't love them I don't like them..

MalStrom · Nov 8, 2014

luc said: ↑

Things are not going great at my end. I am 3 months pregnant have a 2 yr old. My pil have been here for 6 months taking care of us and my 2 yr old. The issue is my hubby just doesn't want to listen me crib about his parents. His parents are very nice but sometimes my mil gets on my nerves. And lately if I say anything back to her she will start crying as if I cursed her. Day before yesterday my mil was looking for something I knew she won't be able to find it so I got up n gave it to her saying you would have never found it. I didn't even say it in a bad way. She started pouring saying I didn't like what you said I explained it to her and apologized million times but now she is started acting in different. I told my hubby about it and he said it's ok she is sad that she is leaving us. Then my hubby knows that I get nauseated when I have to change my 2 yr old diaper but still he asked me to clean him I was cleaning him up and my pil were going to sleep so my hubby wished them and then he is asking me to wish them but I was so nauseated so I didn't wish them for this my hubby got so angry .

What the hell is this.. I never expected my hubby to behave this way. He keeps telling me that I am a very hard person to deal with n all. I have issues with my pil but I try to stay away from them to avoid it. My husband doesn't understands this. I don't know what to do I feel our relationship is not working out and I feel it's because of my pil. He loves his parents and he wants the same from me, but I just can't love them I don't like them..
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Put the shoe on the other foot.
How would you react if your husband did the same to your parents?
You are probably feeling more sensitive at this time, but try to be cordial to your in laws. It looks like they are about to leave, and a little bit of patience will pay off for you.
Also try not to vent to your DH about them. Perhaps you can talk with some trusted friends or family members. At the same time, your DH should also be a bit more considerate of your health and feelings so you can try talking to him when you are both more relaxed.

Ragini25 · Nov 8, 2014

luc said: ↑

He keeps telling me that I am a very hard person to deal with n all.
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If you read your old threads, even you will admit that what he is saying is somewhat correct. So, learn some patience to deal with things, and dont crib to him abt his parents.

luc · Nov 8, 2014

I have changed a lot from the past. I don't talk to them as much and if they say anything that I don't like then I try to ignore it. Before I just use to rebel but now I have stopped as I have no energy and there is no use...

swarnalakshmin · Nov 8, 2014

Dont ever complain about your husband's parents to your husband. Stop it. If they are troubling you share your feelings to your friends, parents and others and never to your husband. Let Your PIL complain about you to your husband, some times it will turn against them. Only Sometimes, and not Always. It seems that your husband loves his parents very much. As you are pregnant try to change his concentration to you and your 2 Years Child. I know its difficult, try. A child can change things.

kanthtx · Nov 9, 2014

may be u shud change ur behavior and be respectful and courteous to some one who is coming and helping u....

stop whining to ur H and let have some peace at home...

saps105 · Nov 9, 2014

nobody likes to hear anything bad about their parents. that includes you too. I am sure you wouldn't like it either if your husband complains about your parents.

From your post it seems your in laws are going back soon. Try and adjust for a few more days. And try to be courteous to people staying with you.

Weasly · Nov 9, 2014

hey op,

You have urself stated the solution to ur problem. Ur inlaws are spoiling the relationship wid ur husband, just minimise ur contact.dont expect any help from them in the first place. y be dependent on ppl who will not support u or have ur back. just be patient, let them leave then have a talk with ur dh, try to mend things then. concenrtate on ur health and ur lil guest who needs all ur attention right now!

hrastro · Nov 9, 2014

You dont have to love your inlaws but at least try to like and respect them!!!

If you dont like them then why are they at your house helping you with your 2 year old and your own pregnant self ??? Tell them to get out of your home and change your 2 year old's diapers yourself every time!!! So what if you get nauseous??? It is your baby, not your inlaws, right? The second pregnancy was your and your DH's decision, not your inlaws, right? Then why do they have to bear your tantrums and your rude words?? Couldnt you act a little more patient ? What was the necessity to taunt your MIL about finding stuff!!

Maybe your MIL is doing all the work at home with your baby and the kitchen and also bearing your taunts and therefore wants to run away!!!

Sorry for being harsh, luc, but I cannot conclude anything else from all your previous posts and your inlaws and DH have tolerated enough of your taunts and words! Please grow up !!! What kind of an example are you going to set to your own children? Think from your inlaws point of view!
Your DH is probably right when he says you're a difficult person to live with !!!

Inlaws are not spoiling your relationship - you yourself are spoiling it with your own words and conversations and foot in the mouth !!! Learn what to talk to your DH and what to keep to yourself. Learn to not taunt your inlaws for the help they are doing for you!

Joyoflife · Nov 9, 2014

When they are nice most of the time and help you a lot then why can't you control yourself. They are not perfect acc to you you may not be perfect for them as well. We all have to grow up. You have to change diapers of your child even if you get nauseated, because that's your child, at maximum you can ask your husband but not in laws. If you expect your in laws to help you around and you cannot even tolerate small things then why call them in the first place. Mature up do not crib small things to your hubby.