Relationship Hijack And Banter

mothers are rather easy to please. If a child ate all the food, and hours later, produced a well formed turd floating in the toilet water, we'd think it is so cute ( a mix of +). Children would never understand this, until they are parents of their own litter.

Even though we have so many emoticons, some critical ones are still missing.

 

Bengaluru: Scolded for not preparing tasty curry, wife kills herself - Times of India
Really pathetic

 

nice positive perspective

 

One knows their mother since birth; It is only fair that both MIL and DIL make genuine efforts to get to know each other. Not get offended quickly by MIL, at times mothers do say things that one may not want to hear.
When you start loving the new family as your own, over time you can develop close relation with your MIL also. Every mother wants to see their children happy, that includes mother of boys.
Everything has to do with how one approaches the situation. You can make mountain out of a mound, then it will become a mountain that you can't cross.

 

@Topaz49,

My wife was the only child for my in-laws and she bent over backwards to love and be loved by my mother for 35 years but didn't succeed. Ours is an arranged marriage and my parents found my wife for me. Realizing the trouble my mother was creating, my father placed us in a different home in the same city and visited us regularly. I struggled a lot because of conflict between my mother and wife until I found out the motive behind the fight.

My wife never interfered in my relationship with my mother and let me do my duties to her until her death recently. I also treated her parents well and my mother in law now lives with us for the past 5 years.

My wife and I tried everything possible to get together as a family but without any success. More we tried, worse it became. Sometimes, being nice is taken as a weakness. Each family is different and it takes two to make it work.

 

What was the motive?

 

I am uncomfortable sharing it here. Especially, after she passed away. This week I am performing her 6th monthly ritual.

Viswa

 

I understand.
I only asked because it might be helpful for understanding what drives people.

 

Sir ! you said you tried for 35 years and you also say the more you try the worse the results were. I sincerely can understand what you would have gone through. Probably every man can relate himself with you in this context.

True @Viswamitra Sir, but the sequence through which the conflict you mentioned , unfolds every time, will be, ditto the same in every family. In spite of the fact that the man does everything he can , to bring peace between his mother and his wife, he would be labelled as the primary reason for the ongoing conflict between his wife and his mother.

This is one argument which I have never won with any woman. The logic of women, in general, is , that the man in this situation has failed to make his mother realise her mistakes, on one hand. He also has failed to defend his wife whenever she is unfairly targeted by his mother, on the other hand.

In other words the ongoing exchange of hostilities and hatred between the mother in law and daughter in law, is purely the mistakes of omission and commission of the husband concerned. This is the logic , every woman in my own family believe and argue, in favour of.