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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    It was directed at all posts in that thread who said Mrs. M act of divorce could be considered selfish/borderline cruel and that she should have been more open and honest and protested sufficiently from the beginning itself.

    Can a victim be blamed or held responsible for delaying the process of speaking out. I don't know.
     
  2. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    No victim blaming but glorifying the suffering as a virtue is a bad example for future victims ....

    I am only voicing out that may be if we are brave enough to stand up ... things may be different ...no amount blaming bad husband and ILs will get back your precious years back ....

    There are perverts in the world and we cannot wish that they all turn good .... it is we who should guard ourselves as much as we can ..
     
  3. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    victim-blaming (used by me) and "glorifying the suffering" are misleading terms. The victim is not being blamed, and the suffering is not being glorified.

    question is: is it fair to place the burden of standing up and the burden of bringing about change on the oppressed (dalits, women...).
     
  4. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Dalit discrimination is also a social Evil which must be fought by all ....The Dalits who move up the education and job ladder using reservations have a better chance to fight it than those who are stuck in rural areas and in illiteracy ....

    But for sure Dalits can not depend on uppercase people to suddenly realize that the way they oppress people is wrong and mend their ways ... it is not going to happen , that will only happen with social awareness and stringent laws ....Dalits coming together and agitate over the atrocities meted out to them .....and forming support groups to help people deal with discrimination ...

    Any support from enlightened upper caste people who stand for equality is welcome and appreciated
     
  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Victim blaming is : When a girl is raped and the society tells - the girl wore such dresses which provoked the men to rape her...... An example I'm stating.

    A girl who is tortured for dowry and when we say she should stand up for herself is not victim blaming. Why ? If she does that isn't she a role model in the society? Will not people(other women in her situation) look up to her ? Will not the father law think twice before doing that disgusting touch ?
    As YM pointed her parents have a role in her not standing up for herself..
     
    shravs3 and Sunshine04 like this.
  6. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    Nailed it @nemesis

    I also believe that some kind of moral education should be invluded in schools.
    Just like we have more people who can read write, after several years of the initiative, the society will be little better.

    May be Mr Modi ji should start this “moral” class/ subject initiative.

    We have classes like this catholic schools, balvihars, chinmaya mission

    But we need to take the religion out of it and make it mainstream.
     
  7. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    We cannot blame the victim. Someone from outside should have thrown her a line/ rescue line or something.

    In this particular case, the woman has 2 children in video. Both 4 and under.
    Just thinking, what must have been her day to day life. And what must be her life in last 5 years, sorry to say- hormonal, add to that vulnerable, weak physically, and then add the abuse- emotional mostly preceeds the physical abuse, so both.
    However strong she was before 5 yrs, it will all melt down.

    So the help has to come from outside when she is caught in this whirlpool.
     
  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    many men and women indulge in giving and taking dowry at the time of marriage.

    If by luck the guys turns out good , the social evil is brushed under carpet and everyone forgets about the looting which happened at the time of marriage .

    If the guy turns out to be like the one in this case , then only he or his family is called out .....

    But in my opinion all those people who indulge in dowry giving and taking and are happy now in marriages should also be called out because they are the ones who will never let the evil to go away and when the time comes for their children to get married again they will indulge in dowry...
     
  9. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Most parents will be in the know that things are not good in their daughters life but they don’t bother ...
    That’s where girls parents need to stand up . They would have known but kept silent.....
     
    hermitcrab likes this.
  10. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Tony Manero agrees!
    Ah-ha-ah-ha ..... Life goin' nowhere ... Somebody help me... :lol:
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019

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