Relation With Dh And In-laws

Dear ladies,
Please help me think outside the box, I am in overwhelming stress state right now..I will try to be as concise as possible:

1. Relation with DH: We had a love marriage, DH is nice guy loving and caring...Off late since we had kids, things are very strenous between us..the root cause is always his brother/inlaws and his overly naive attitude with them..no convincing is enough to my DH, that my MIL, SIL and cosister are all jealous insecure people who cannot see me happy....why is he blind to my sufferings? he says he can understand and blah blah but he will always do some or other mistake which makes me a lot angry, these fights are affecting both of our health...my DH always has a taken for granted attitude towards me, despite my bad health, I worked extremely hard to take care of kids, cooking cleaning AND studying for new career and looking for jobs , I sleep at 2/3 am daily, for little time he will be OK but always whenever I am relaxed and happy, he will share our goals and achievements to his family......this casts evil eye of my in laws and alwayssss ( i have shown him as a fact) my struggles increase or I am unable to achieve my goals...what my DH does? he goes to office (he has stressful job), comes back takes care of kids reluctantly while making lot of loud noises(like for changing diaper he will behave as if he is doing something very hard work, I change 10 times a day with tendonitis in my hand), and very easily he will take me for granted...if i show him how much work I do by NOT doing the work, he will fall sick very easily because his body cannot take stress it seems...then again back to square one, I have to work hard..his parents all they do is motivate from india, they never offer to come her and help us around...i am sure when kids grow up, and they go to school, they will be more than willing to come and "help"!!

How can I take care of my health and relation with DH...tried lots of talking and everthing, like goal setting etc...always my DH blows off, either is so irritatingly dumb or naive or he is of type who is sucking blood of me.....making me angry by doing things i dont like...he has no social life and all his friends are now distant....thats why he is always feeling lonely and at the mercy of his brother and sister...


2. DH's brother and his wife: his wife, co-sister is 7 years younger to me but she consideres herself 7 yrs elder to me, she has never initiated any conversation with me in her 6 yrs of marriage with BIL...Both BIL and cosister only want to maintain hi-bye relation but when need arises, BIL becomes extra sweet to DH and DH falls for it, he gets affection which he lacks in his life, and screws up everything by giving money or any help......my cosister even though has never on her own tried keeping any one on one relation with me, I tired many times, by calling on phone, when we last visited, I thought everything is fine until something which makes her jealous and she does a U turn and stops talking to me......my in laws (including BIL) have fueled her jealousy against me so much..but they talk sweetly in front of me....but they are big players who want to have 2 DILs always fighting mode, WHY? because then in laws will be in control and also SIL DH sister, should be happy too! right! so now all of sudden, they need our help (like they are new in USA), they want to come and stay in our home for some time....they are in USA for last 4 months, when they came, I called cosister initially if she needs any help or wants to talk, no hesitation etc she said ok ok but never ever has she called me even once....only on weekend, BIL calls and if they need something, he will directly talk to DH for help and guidance..and DH helps them out.......even for maintaining relation, I tried talking to her and call but I dont get any response from her side, so why is she coming to my home shamelessly! we have not even invited them.....they just barge in to fulfill their ulterior motives (like this cosister always protects her kids and keep them away from me , and she is always into black magic etc, why is she coming now when she has the ego that she wont go to my home uninvitied), when I was pregnant, BIL alone had come (his wife was still in india) and I dont know what happened after that, we had series of bad health issues one after the another really bad ones, I mean my DH had 2 horrible health scare and I fell and suffering still...they think that owing a home in USA means really big thing etc......even though we are in debts and they are the ones who are buying plots after plots in India.....if they see me smiling (if I try to keep myself positive and relaxed), they cant see that, they will start feeling insecure and jealous and make my life hell.....how to protect myself and my kids from this evil and mean couple(BIL and cosister)...with DH being naive? They both have maintained relations with all extended family in india as they were in India, DH has lost touch because we are here since 15 years..when we used to say things are costly here, my FIL and MIL used to think we are making it up...now when BIL family is here and is explaining everytime his expenses, they say Oh wow, how do you manage its so expensive there!!